Padres sweep the Diamondbacks, benches clearing brawl results in crazy makeout session.
by Dex on Jul 18, 2010 4:46 PM PDT
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The Padres completed the sweep of the Diamondbacks today.
Denorfia hit two home runs. He's good at baseball.
In other news, there was some crazy intensity when Everth Cabrera, upon getting picked off at third, crashed into Mark Reynolds who decided to try to surprise buttsecks Everth as opposed to just try to tag him. Everth got up and took his helmet off while trying to run away. Mark Reynolds took offense to Everth's luxurious hair and made a grab for his nipples.
THE BENCHES CLEARED.
In the melee, people were throwing punches left and right and left. And people were grabbing other people by the jerseys and the belts and some guys were yanking their belts off to try to CHOKE people with them! But of course then people were grabbing at their beltless pants and suddenly clothes started getting torn the f_ck off.
And of course by this point it was really hot and people were sweating while their clothes were getting torn off and the umpires said, "DROMG. STOP THESE PEOPLE! TURN THE HOSES ON!"
So the groundscrew came out and started hosing down the pile of writhing angry flesh. And everybody got wet. And there was PENIS EVERYWHERE.
And then in the heat, and all the rolling around in the grass and dirt. Everybody totally started making out with each other. And it was military day along with college day so people were chanting "TO-GA! TO-GA!" and "DON'T ASK! DON'T TELL! DON'T ASK! DON'T TELL!" It was soooo gay. But real sexy at the same time.
It was crazy.
Go Padres.
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Firsticuffs!
www.FriarsOnCardboard.blogspot.com
"jbox does not drink coffee, as it makes him clean house big time." ~Kev
by TheThinGwynn on Jul 18, 2010 4:47 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
and there was a happy ending.
FIRE BUD BLACK
by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Jul 18, 2010 4:48 PM PDT reply actions
Anyone ever notice how often Bud says "you know"?
It’s ridiculous, you know.
by theodore donald kerabatsos on Jul 18, 2010 4:50 PM PDT reply actions
you're just now, you know, noticing this?
I’ve noticed it, you know, for like, you know, 3 seasons now
"Los Angeles is like San Diego’s older, uglier sister that has herpes." -- Justin Halpern
LOL
"No matter what you do, you're gonna die brotha." ~~ Desmond Hume
by All Things SD on Jul 18, 2010 4:52 PM PDT up reply actions
Wow, Dex....
I didnt know you had it in ya to write a re-cap like that… Phew!
Thanks for keeping me updated guys. Sounded like a fun game to watch.
"There are two great tragedies in life: One is not getting what one wants; the other is getting it."
"I like to consider the padres' team as a microcosm, or symbolic representation of my daily endeavor towards inner salvation." — Mysterious Cloaked Padre Fan
That's what really happened.
FIRE BUD BLACK
by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Jul 18, 2010 4:55 PM PDT up reply actions
(shaking head back and forth,
wiping sweat from brow)
"There are two great tragedies in life: One is not getting what one wants; the other is getting it."
"I like to consider the padres' team as a microcosm, or symbolic representation of my daily endeavor towards inner salvation." — Mysterious Cloaked Padre Fan
Would this be fan fiction?
"Get your hopes up. That's what hopes are for by the way, to get up. You don't get your hopes down, you get your hopes up." -Jeffrey Tambor
by Ketchup on Jul 18, 2010 5:00 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Dex misrememered the part where
the GLB women jumped into the melee. :P
"Savvy Chicks Dig the Bullpen"
That was my favorite part!
Shirtless Clayton exceeded expectations
"You're like the nicest internet person I know." - theodore donald kerabatsos
Where did you hide them?
Aww, that’s too bad!
"You're like the nicest internet person I know." - theodore donald kerabatsos
Would THIS be fan fiction?
"Get your hopes up. That's what hopes are for by the way, to get up. You don't get your hopes down, you get your hopes up." -Jeffrey Tambor
Those are the best kinds of shenanigans!
"You're like the nicest internet person I know." - theodore donald kerabatsos
I like how this writeup is mere inches away from the No Cussing Club medal.
I’m sure the NCC would be proud.
by theodore donald kerabatsos on Jul 18, 2010 5:05 PM PDT reply actions
Their winning percentage is wimpy
FIRE BUD BLACK
by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Jul 18, 2010 5:17 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
uhh, I wouldnt start a fight near the visitors dugout,
now, if things were a bit more centered, like at second base, maybe. But getting into a brawl where the first crowd of players that are going to arrive are the those from the visitors dugout, and those whom are on the field are the opposing teams… thats just nuts.
"There are two great tragedies in life: One is not getting what one wants; the other is getting it."
"I like to consider the padres' team as a microcosm, or symbolic representation of my daily endeavor towards inner salvation." — Mysterious Cloaked Padre Fan
Yeah I'm reading back
But then again they’re priding themselves now in the lose-a-palooza
jtb yl1 thunder up tino
by Allen J. Kha on Jul 18, 2010 5:19 PM PDT up reply actions
Merged Gameday threads
would be interesting and ugly hilarious.
"You're like the nicest internet person I know." - theodore donald kerabatsos
That would be amazing
"Get your hopes up. That's what hopes are for by the way, to get up. You don't get your hopes down, you get your hopes up." -Jeffrey Tambor
One time only
make it happen
"Get your hopes up. That's what hopes are for by the way, to get up. You don't get your hopes down, you get your hopes up." -Jeffrey Tambor
you can do that on MLB.com
though, its more of a chat room environment. Not to mention, people will hijack your Identity on the site and go around pissing off other games chat rooms.
"There are two great tragedies in life: One is not getting what one wants; the other is getting it."
"I like to consider the padres' team as a microcosm, or symbolic representation of my daily endeavor towards inner salvation." — Mysterious Cloaked Padre Fan
Pass.
I want nothing to do with that blog.
by Drama on Jul 18, 2010 5:31 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
Seconded.
I only recognize 49 states.
Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? ◔ヮ◔
Uncommon Sportsman :: Absurdity in play
by Axion on Jul 18, 2010 10:03 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Ouch
but so true
jtb yl1 thunder up tino
by Allen J. Kha on Jul 18, 2010 10:38 PM PDT up reply actions
More like 48
Alaska doesn’t count too with their decrepit former governor
jtb yl1 thunder up tino
by Allen J. Kha on Jul 18, 2010 10:39 PM PDT up reply actions
I'll be cold in the ground before I recognize Missoura!
FIRE BUD BLACK
by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Jul 18, 2010 11:14 PM PDT up reply actions
Portland is more LOL worthy
than the D-bags
"You're like the nicest internet person I know." - theodore donald kerabatsos
The Padres AAA team has always been a
laughing stock. However, AAA is not really of any importance as far as prospects go in the era. If we pop up a prospect up to AAA its usually just a little warm up before they get pulled up to the Big Leagues, or to bring up some prospects from low A to AA.
However, Antonllie has really kicked the can down there for some time. I really had high hopes for that kid.
"There are two great tragedies in life: One is not getting what one wants; the other is getting it."
"I like to consider the padres' team as a microcosm, or symbolic representation of my daily endeavor towards inner salvation." — Mysterious Cloaked Padre Fan
So accurate
Unless you’re the Rays— then that’s the incubator of Hellboy and DJennings, and Thunder Johnson
jtb yl1 thunder up tino
by Allen J. Kha on Jul 18, 2010 5:31 PM PDT up reply actions
The Rays
are the exception. Theyre loaded.
now, I’m off to see “Inception,” which I have heard is one of the greatest cinematic experiences since 2010: Spacey odyssey.
"There are two great tragedies in life: One is not getting what one wants; the other is getting it."
"I like to consider the padres' team as a microcosm, or symbolic representation of my daily endeavor towards inner salvation." — Mysterious Cloaked Padre Fan
I don't know if your comment is in dream or reality-world
Rays!
jtb yl1 thunder up tino
by Allen J. Kha on Jul 18, 2010 5:35 PM PDT up reply actions
2001
was really good, 2010 was average.
"Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
AAA has some good baseball though, you're right on a limited extent I guess
jtb yl1 thunder up tino
by Allen J. Kha on Jul 18, 2010 5:42 PM PDT up reply actions
Try not to talk shit about someone if you can't even spell his name right.
FIRE BUD BLACK
by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Jul 18, 2010 5:37 PM PDT up reply actions
Haha
Got all of the letters right though, give some credit where it’s due
jtb yl1 thunder up tino
by Allen J. Kha on Jul 18, 2010 5:38 PM PDT up reply actions
You? So you mean me or podpeople?
jtb yl1 thunder up tino
by Allen J. Kha on Jul 18, 2010 5:42 PM PDT up reply actions
hah:)
yeah, somebody on this page takes himself way to seriously.
"There are two great tragedies in life: One is not getting what one wants; the other is getting it."
"I like to consider the padres' team as a microcosm, or symbolic representation of my daily endeavor towards inner salvation." — Mysterious Cloaked Padre Fan
I guess I shouldn't expect much
He can’t even spell his own username correctly.
FIRE BUD BLACK
by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Jul 18, 2010 5:43 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
Must. Not. Wonk.
I’ll come back when I won’t have to get rid of my sig after I reply.
"You're like the nicest internet person I know." - theodore donald kerabatsos
I still don't understand your signature.
"Get your hopes up. That's what hopes are for by the way, to get up. You don't get your hopes down, you get your hopes up." -Jeffrey Tambor
How so, Cha Cha?
"Get your hopes up. That's what hopes are for by the way, to get up. You don't get your hopes down, you get your hopes up." -Jeffrey Tambor
Maybe if you were nice and didn't jinx the team you would understand.
I really need to stay off GLB when I’m grumpy.
"You're like the nicest internet person I know." - theodore donald kerabatsos
You're always grumpy
How am I not nice?
"Get your hopes up. That's what hopes are for by the way, to get up. You don't get your hopes down, you get your hopes up." -Jeffrey Tambor
Seeing as how in the last two musicals I've seen
main characters die in the end, I’d say that’s a false statement.
"You're like the nicest internet person I know." - theodore donald kerabatsos
You had me at....
….“scissoring like sexy horny lesbians”.
by Drama on Jul 18, 2010 5:30 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
That made me ALMOST spit out this delicious green tea. “PENIS EVERYWHERE” led to green tea all over my monitor.
Bolts from the Blue - Destroying your opinions with facts.
by John Gennaro on Jul 18, 2010 6:05 PM PDT up reply actions
This is exactly the same way my reactions progressed
"Los Angeles is like San Diego’s older, uglier sister that has herpes." -- Justin Halpern
I went a different direction
I saw the part about buttsecks, luxurious hair and nipple grabbing and I thought, “Oh great, how’s this going to turn into there being PENIS EVERYWHERE?”
No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.
Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't
you should learn to swallow
"Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
What the hell is going on in here?
Mat Latos is the real deal...Go Lakers, Pads, and Bolts
by mrbarneydangles on Jul 18, 2010 6:03 PM PDT reply actions
a lot of self-loathing and projection.
"There are two great tragedies in life: One is not getting what one wants; the other is getting it."
"I like to consider the padres' team as a microcosm, or symbolic representation of my daily endeavor towards inner salvation." — Mysterious Cloaked Padre Fan
by podpeople on Jul 18, 2010 6:11 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
Happy Gay Pride Weekend, everyone
(just pointing out the irony of the timing of this magnificent post)
Bolts from the Blue - Destroying your opinions with facts.
Is that irony or coincidence?
Bolts from the Blue // "He looks like a catfish" - Nick Hardwick on Brandon Siler
Bloody Elbow // " looks like your comment violated rule #4. and it’s a heck of a rule, rule #4" - Kid Nate
by Richard Wade on Jul 18, 2010 6:50 PM PDT up reply actions
did creanium put you up to this?
Bolts from the Blue - Destroying your opinions with facts.
by John Gennaro on Jul 18, 2010 7:03 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
No.
Bolts from the Blue // "He looks like a catfish" - Nick Hardwick on Brandon Siler
Bloody Elbow // " looks like your comment violated rule #4. and it’s a heck of a rule, rule #4" - Kid Nate
by Richard Wade on Jul 18, 2010 8:09 PM PDT up reply actions
When I saw the replay.
Looks like Mark Reynolds is a nut-less little b*tch.
"This team looks dangerous, like a convict with a temper, nothing to lose and a switch blade." -jbox
Probably the best description of a benches clearing brawl ever
I didn’t get to watch or listen to this game today. This is the first place I came to to find out how the Padres did today and this is the first post I read. Without reading anything else I automatically think: I’m not sure what parts of this description are real, but I’m not going to read or watch anything related to this game so that this is how I will remember it for the next couple of days.
Thank you Gaslampball.
I'm not in denial, I'm just selective about the reality I choose to accept.
by lab_mouse on Jul 18, 2010 8:20 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Right?
I’m totally pissed that I had to work yesterday. I caught maybe the first 15 minutes of the game driving there, and then turned on the radio for the final out of the game. I wondered why the game was still going on at that time – didn’t account for bench clearing penis everywhere. Why do I miss all the GOOD GAMES?!?
Dude, Everth is just so hawt.
EVERYONE wants to be all up on him.
Remember when Mark Loretta tried to scissor him last year?
I need new pants.
It appears
Everth is not much of a fighter. This true?
"Way to be all matchy, f________." - TTG's Awesome Friend
by Winfield's Ghost on Jul 19, 2010 6:49 AM PDT up reply actions
He's more of a lover.
A hot, steamy lover.
I need new pants.
by jodes0405 on Jul 19, 2010 10:26 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I watched him bounce up and then try to get away
And I wondered if he was that way with you, too…head on a swivel, trying to spot you…
"Way to be all matchy, f________." - TTG's Awesome Friend
by Winfield's Ghost on Jul 19, 2010 12:34 PM PDT up reply actions
Well I'm not about to give away the nature of our intimacy here on GLB.
You gotta pay extra for that.
I need new pants.
I'm selling the movie rights
to Efren Cabrera: The Spanish Fly. Negotiations are going well.
Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? ◔ヮ◔
Uncommon Sportsman :: Absurdity in play
Uh oh. Ari Gold is on the line and it sounds like you're f___ed
I’m sure he’ll provide you with the appropriate metaphors for how f___ed you are.
No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.
Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't
P.P.S.
Mark Reynolds may have surpassed Johnny Cueto on the jodes hate list today.
I need new pants.
Calling him a flailing puppy isn't harsh enough!
I need new pants.
by jodes0405 on Jul 18, 2010 9:37 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
This is certainly a good start to the Padres running away with the division
Me likey.
"Los Angeles is like San Diego’s older, uglier sister that has herpes." -- Justin Halpern
Padres-Braves.
Future NLCS matchup possibly?
I still feel more confident in Burroughs pitching than Mujica
by LetBurroughsPitch on Jul 18, 2010 8:58 PM PDT reply actions
If so
I hope it ends the same way as the last one.
"This is no ordinary honey!"
Bolts From The Blue - Heavy with the facts, slightly less heavy with the opinions.
by Zach (maestro876) on Jul 18, 2010 9:57 PM PDT up reply actions
I prefer every game of the series.
To be like our Home Opener.
I still feel more confident in Burroughs pitching than Mujica
by LetBurroughsPitch on Jul 18, 2010 10:02 PM PDT up reply actions
this
Finally busting the brooms out, awesome couple of games.
by Ilikecheeserolls on Jul 18, 2010 10:22 PM PDT reply actions
Don't mind me; just haikuin' around...
That was awesome, Dex
It deserves a million recs
Hooray for buttsecks
www.FriarsOnCardboard.blogspot.com
"jbox does not drink coffee, as it makes him clean house big time." ~Kev
by TheThinGwynn on Jul 18, 2010 11:22 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
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