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Why I Hate Karsten Whitson

Karsten Whitson was the #9 overall pick in the 2010 Major League Baseball Draft and I already hate him.

139576_mediumvia i.tsn.com

First off, there is all this confusion about whether he's related to Ed Whitson. People said he was and then poopy-pants-people like Mark Grant and Corey Brock tell me he's not. Screw you! I say we start a petition and get Ed Whitson to adopt Karsten. That way we can love him like Padres offspring, but maybe he doesn't suffer from the Tony Gwynn Factor.

Second, Florida is America's Wang. I don't care if they prefer the Sunshine State. He's an American Wangite (or do they prefer Wangonese?).

Third, only two pitches; a fastball and a slider? That's it?!? Make like a good stock portfolio and diversify. Then we can talk.

Fourth, why do we need to draft pitchers? The organization keeps talking like we need more pitching. Our pitching's fine and we didn't even draft most of these guys. Bell, Adams and Correia came off of other teams' scrap heaps. LeBlanc came in the 2nd round and Latos in like the 4 millionth, pure profit. Gregerson was basically a throw in for a guy that could only team equipment. And, Jon Garland, thank you San Diego discount. Moar hitterz pleez!

Lastly, he was picked by the Padres. He's cursed. The last time we picked a high school pitcher in the first round it was 10 years ago and it some nobody named Mark Phillips or Phil Markips or something. Yeah, you've never heard of him either. Same goes for a bunch of Padres draft picks. Maybe someday they allow trading picks and the Padres can have more luck with picks that aren't technically there's. Or maybe they can just get out of the first round entirely and pick more in that fruitful 4 millionth round where the Peavy's, Blanks' and Latoseseseses come from.

Anyway, I've decided to hate him. Hey, I loved all the other picks the Padres have made (okay maybe not you East County Hatorade Vendor) so I'll try hating this guy and maybe he'll succeed. Yeah, that's the ticket. So, good luck kid! Oh, Jesus Lopez, I already screwed that up already didn't I?

This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball managers or SB Nation.

Comment 42 comments  |  7 recs  | 

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Agree

on all counts.

Bastard.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains."
Bolts From The Blue - Heavy with the facts, slightly less heavy with the opinions.

by Zach (maestro876) on Jun 7, 2010 10:03 PM PDT reply actions  

My favorite part

is how Jesus Lopez is given an auto-link.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains."
Bolts From The Blue - Heavy with the facts, slightly less heavy with the opinions.

by Zach (maestro876) on Jun 7, 2010 10:04 PM PDT reply actions  

I thought it was funny

That because I didn’t use any other players’ names full names in it (other than the Whitson’s and Mark Phillips) it was the only name the ended up autolinking.

No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.

Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't

by Wonko on Jun 7, 2010 10:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

I don’t see why a HS pitcher who has a 95 MPH fastball would need more than one pitch…

by Stephen (shaynes41) on Jun 8, 2010 8:18 AM PDT up reply actions  

Right?

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains."
Bolts From The Blue - Heavy with the facts, slightly less heavy with the opinions.

by Zach (maestro876) on Jun 8, 2010 8:22 AM PDT up reply actions  

Wrong.

No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.

Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't

by Wonko on Jun 8, 2010 9:20 AM PDT up reply actions  

Because he wants to become a major leaguer

And a stock portfolio.

No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.

Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't

by Wonko on Jun 8, 2010 9:20 AM PDT up reply actions  

plus

strikesouts are boring and facist

by Stephen (shaynes41) on Jun 8, 2010 9:35 AM PDT up reply actions  

Somebody else was saying

that he was Ed Whitson’s nephew.

by jbox on Jun 7, 2010 10:17 PM PDT reply actions  

That's what MLB.com has

Depo in the comments to his blog say no relation.

Mountain West Connection ::Above the Rest::
Bolts From The Blue "There’s a gleam men. Let’s go get the gleam! Focus and Finish!!! One play at a time!!! Let's Go!!!"
it kind of reminds me of that movie "You've got mail"...I'm Tom Hanks he's Meg Ryan -- Padres prospect Matt Antonelli on sdsuaztec4

by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Jun 8, 2010 9:24 AM PDT up reply actions  

"This team looks dangerous, like a convict with a temper, nothing to lose and a switch blade." -jbox

by MrDanielX on Jun 7, 2010 10:36 PM PDT reply actions  

Who installed a humor codec in my Wonko?

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? ◔ヮ◔
Uncommon Sportsman :: Absurdity in play

by Axion on Jun 7, 2010 11:14 PM PDT reply actions  

I'm fine with stock piling elite young pitching.

This division is stacked with great pitching and we need to keep up. If it wasn’t enough that we have to face Tiny Tim and Kershaw, now we have to worry about Bob Gibson Ubaldo Jimenez. There are only so many Jason Jesus Heywards and Bryce Bro Harpers in this world and we’re going to have to pitch to them at some point.

=SD=

by Mad_Villain on Jun 8, 2010 6:16 AM PDT reply actions  

WTH kind of name is Karsten anyway?

Maybe I’ll Wonk myself
Well, all of the Germanophiles on this blog should be happy anyway. i foresee a lot of threads slipping into the mother tongue.

Ohhh! How come nothing is ever boobs or ice cream? - Homer Simpson

by Boilermaker19 on Jun 8, 2010 6:28 AM PDT reply actions  

I think we should always draft the best players available

and then refuse to sign them….

That’ll teach them.

Seriously though… I don’t give a crap about the draft. The exception being when a player like San Diego Strassy can be gotten… who can almost immediately slot into the team.

Otherwise, the draft is really not for me. I think the money is also redonkulous. I really hope the next labor agreement caps the money a drafted player can sign for, while raising the pay of players younger players, who often deserve a lot more.

-Zen Blade

by Zen Blade on Jun 8, 2010 7:23 AM PDT reply actions  

I wasn't thrilled that they took a pitcher.

But I guess it really doesn’t matter. The MLB draft is such a freaking crap shoot… most of the guys picked in the first round will never have any significant impact in the majors anyway.

I would have rather had a position player… but I’m not a scout and I’ve never seen any of these guys play, so if our experts think that Whitson has a better chance of becoming a viable major leaguer than Vitek or whoever else, then I’m fine with that.

by theodore donald kerabatsos on Jun 8, 2010 7:45 AM PDT reply actions  

Also...

Vitek ended up going to the Red Sox, so if he ends up becoming a superstar it’s gonna burn that much worse.

by theodore donald kerabatsos on Jun 8, 2010 7:48 AM PDT up reply actions  

his name sounds ridiculous.

he sounds like the kind of @sshole that would hit on my girlfriend. like some douche who goes to USD and wears Ed Hardy shirts and has a boat.

"I suggest more bike" ~KSK

www.throughbucknerslegs.com

by justdave on Jun 8, 2010 8:52 AM PDT reply actions  

Kind of like Logan Forsythe.

No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.

Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't

by Wonko on Jun 8, 2010 9:19 AM PDT up reply actions  

Depo says he's developing a change-up

But hasn’t needed it much in HS, because he strikes out Bryce Harper with the cheese.

Mountain West Connection ::Above the Rest::
Bolts From The Blue "There’s a gleam men. Let’s go get the gleam! Focus and Finish!!! One play at a time!!! Let's Go!!!"
it kind of reminds me of that movie "You've got mail"...I'm Tom Hanks he's Meg Ryan -- Padres prospect Matt Antonelli on sdsuaztec4

by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Jun 8, 2010 9:25 AM PDT reply actions  

he just throws the slider every now and then

to impress the ladies.

and mixes in his subpar change up so the hitters don’t get their feelings hurt too badly.

by Stephen (shaynes41) on Jun 8, 2010 9:38 AM PDT up reply actions  

You are trying to get him hurt, aren't you?

No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.

Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't

by Wonko on Jun 8, 2010 9:41 AM PDT up reply actions  

exactly

No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.

Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't

by Wonko on Jun 8, 2010 1:05 PM PDT up reply actions  

Don't you think he's got plenty of time to develop another pitch?

It’s not like he’s going to be here next season, though it’s possible. Maybe?

Gaslamp Ball Game OT: "Makes you happy in the pants"
MLB Network: "Keep believing!"
Heat: "Uhh, no. We know."

by tonoxtono on Jun 8, 2010 9:44 AM PDT reply actions  

He seems to have 2 1/2.. and he is, what 17? He has like 5-six years to develop:

That change, and another pitch?

"This team looks dangerous, like a convict with a temper, nothing to lose and a switch blade." -jbox

by MrDanielX on Jun 8, 2010 10:20 AM PDT up reply actions  

Yup, you gotta go with the best athlete.

He’s a potential ace, and you can’t have too many of them. I hope the Padres took my advice to identify, draft, sign and develop only future Hall of Famers. Man, what a team we’ll have in a couple years!

by wegotballsley on Jun 8, 2010 11:42 AM PDT reply actions  

I like him

Because he’s pretty.

Can we keep him?

"Savvy Chicks Dig the Bullpen"

by eastbaysd on Jun 8, 2010 3:43 PM PDT reply actions  

Kevin Towers isn't around anymore

to find those bullpen jewels.

"Get your hopes up. That's what hopes are for by the way, to get up. You don't get your hopes down, you get your hopes up." -Jeffrey Tambor

by Ketchup on Jun 8, 2010 4:03 PM PDT reply actions  

Three top-notch local boys are still around

Sammy Solis and Kyle Blair of USD, and Addison Reed from State.

Bad news: they’re all pitchers as well. I mean, I’m not opposed to suffocating the division with a bevy of great arms for the next ten years, but a bat is fine too.

The Padres are good, but make no mistake: we've gotta beef up the linwup.

If I had a nickel from every SBN blog that has banned me, Arrowhead Pride would owe me 5¢.

by StrangeBroP25 on Jun 8, 2010 9:29 PM PDT reply actions  

...plus "Tiny Tony" Wolters, 2B from Rancho Buena Vista HS (USD commit)

giant Las Vegas-ite Kris Bryant from Bonanza High School (1st base, USD commit; we could call him “Hoss”)

3B Chad Lewis from Marina High School in the HB (SDSU commit who apparently has an MLB-ready bat but needs to work on defense)

plus any of a boat-load of guys, to be honest. I’m trawling through names on Rivals right now.

The Padres are good, but make no mistake: we've gotta beef up the linwup.

If I had a nickel from every SBN blog that has banned me, Arrowhead Pride would owe me 5¢.

by StrangeBroP25 on Jun 8, 2010 9:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

Solis, Blair, Reed and Wolters

All got picked by other teams today. In fact, they were picked before you put your comments up :(

No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.

Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't

by Wonko on Jun 8, 2010 10:27 PM PDT up reply actions  

Dude, Wonko, did you not hear?

It’s like rule 2352.7 of being a Padres fan. You are required to love a first round pick until they disappoint you with injury or lack of production after being drafted.

"You're like the nicest internet person I know." - theodore donald kerabatsos

by Jordan_Ming on Jun 9, 2010 9:34 AM PDT reply actions  

I know

I’m attempting a paradigm shift. Come with me, it’s fun.

No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.

Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't

by Wonko on Jun 9, 2010 10:11 AM PDT up reply actions  

COME WITH YOU!?

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Now that that is out of my system: I can’t. I just can’t. I love this pick. I wanted it to happen for like, weeks. The only way this could have been better is if he had signed yesterday morning, was due to play in Eugene this summer, and had more of an upper lip. I’m sorry. I’d really like to take this journey of hatred with you, but I just can’t.

"You're like the nicest internet person I know." - theodore donald kerabatsos

by Jordan_Ming on Jun 9, 2010 10:25 AM PDT up reply actions  

Fine

But you can’t blame me when his shoulder or elbow goes pop. I’m trying here.

No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.

Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't

by Wonko on Jun 9, 2010 10:32 AM PDT up reply actions  

It's not like

Dusty Baker has any say in our system

"You're like the nicest internet person I know." - theodore donald kerabatsos

by Jordan_Ming on Jun 9, 2010 10:41 AM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

rec'd

"This team looks dangerous, like a convict with a temper, nothing to lose and a switch blade." -jbox

by MrDanielX on Jun 9, 2010 11:53 AM PDT up reply actions  

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