It feels so good to have our Book Club back together again.
In Chapter 8 of Dick Enberg: Oh My! he talks about his time broadcasting NCAA Basketball in the mid-70's. What I'm really trying to tell you is that I had very little interest in this chapter. It makes me sleepy just thinking about it again. My eyes are growing heavy, my breath is slowing. I'm either dying of boredom or falling asleep.
That's not to say that there weren't parts of this chapter worth mentioning. If we ignore all the boring basketball we can learn much about Enberg.
For instance, when Dick Enberg tries to fill an awkward silence he talks to his broadcast partner about The Little Prince.
Nervously making small talk, I asked him if he had ever read the book The Little Prince, which I was reading at the time. It's a beautiful little book about caring and loving and responsibility.
I wish Dick Enberg would join our book club, he sounds like he might be a bibliophile like us. I bet he'd have great insight into his own book.
If I ever find myself having a conversation with Dick Enberg, there will undoubtedly be an awkward silence. I'll seize that opportunity to talk about The Little Prince again and how I had to read it in high school. I'll talk about how the Cliff Notes were longer than the book itself and how I liked all the pretty pictures. He'll think I'm an idiot.
We also learn that Enberg seems to be a very emotional fellow, he talks about saying goodbye to Magic Johnson after his exclusive HIV announcement interview.
We reached out and touched each other, and I whispered, "I love ya."
His crew couldn't watch this display of emotion for fear of crying.
We also learn that Enberg's looks have been known to attract strangers in the Men's bathroom.
As I used the facilities, this guy kept staring at me, uncomfortably so.
- Does Enberg do as much preparation for the Padres broadcasts as he did back in his youth for basketball games? How would a younger Enberg feel about the elder Enberg's pronunciation of Padres player's names?
I don't care how good your color man is, how good your statistician is, how good your producer is, ultimately as a play-by-play man you're responsible for getting things right and it starts with the pronunciations. You absolutely cannot err on a name.
- Enberg always left Wimbledon exhausted. Each year he vowed he'd "never do this again." Enberg was absent from Padres broadcast due to calling the tennis tournament. Why is he a liar?
- If Enberg had looked inside his broadcast partner's files what would he have found in this particular folder?
Scribbled on the folder was VAGINA.