Lady Jane Mitchell
Media Night Overview
We somehow found ourselves invited to the Padres Media Opening Night tonight at Petco Park. Don't ask me how it happened because I am not sure. For the record, RJ's Fro was there and so was Steve Adler as part of the Padres blogger contingent. Everyone plays. Everyone's a winner.
Apparently, Media Opening Night is where they let your try delicious ballpark food that will never really be prepared that way for you during a game and they'll throw you batting practice to try to humiliate you into not criticizing the pros for only being able to reach the warning track and there's just general schmoozing et cetera that goes on.
There are plenty of stories from the evening, but meeting Jane Mitchell was a highlight for me.
On Being Nervous
Let me tell you, friends, we were crazy nervous about meeting Jane Mitchell. Talking to Chrissy Russo? Easy peasy. Jenny Cavnar? Puhleeze. John Weisbarth or Bob Scanlan? I am laughing on the inside.
Jane Mitchell however, is a San Diego Icon. The others are poseurs and dilettante.
John Weisbarth gets us primed
While waiting in line for batting practice with John Weisbarth, we noticed Jane Mitchell across the way talking to Pad Squad Loxie. We mentioned to Weisbarth how we would be intimidated to meet Jane Mitchell and how Pad Squad Loxie was making it seem easy. Weisbarth, like it was no big deal, told us how she'd love to meet us. "Why do you lie to us, John Weisbarth?" we said. "Why do you balance our hearts on what we know to be a house of cards?"
"No, seriously," Weisbarth said, not at all mockingly. "As long as you're not creepy. You'll be fine."
Keep in mind, that just prior to this, we had been talking about local celebrities we'd like to wrap in bacon.
Weisbarth repeated himself. "Just introduce yourselves and don't act too creepy and you'll be fine."
"Well see, we've already failed," said jbox. "You know us. How are we supposed to not come across as creepy?"
"I mean, just don't mention anything about bacon. Don't give her any creepy smiles. Don't act like stalkers."
Also keep in mind that we had, earlier in the conversation, asked John Weisbarth if we could hand wash his dress shirts for him and dry them by laying them out on our beds and breathing on them heavily.
The Pad Squad Loxie Incident
Pad Squad Loxie sauntered over. For some reason, she started to sing and dance for us, which she bragged about as being something she just does when people look like they need some entertainment. I cut her off and shook my head. "Look at you," I said. "Talking to Jane Mitchell like it's so easy." She sneered and sauntered off singing Big Spender in the general direction of Lee Hamilton.
Meeting Jane Mitchell
So we finally got around to meeting Jane Mitchell. We first saw Laura Broderick while we were sampling some of the plates and chatted with her a bit. Jane walked over and made a comment about the food. Laura had some other guests to attend to and she left us there, in awkward silence, with Jane Mitchell.
We quickly introduced ourselves as un-creepily as possible and between bites of shrimp taco and braised beef on top of garlic mashed potatoes. After hearing that we were bloggers from Gaslamp Ball, she said, "You know. I have to say. I did find something bad about me on there."
Holy shit, we thought. Jonny Dub! What have you done!?
Turns out, the comment she thought was negative was something about her doing a tour of the ballpark and looking at every nook and cranny. Something along the lines of, "This seems really beneath her. What's next? The urinals?"
We told her that if she ever did an exposé on Petco Park urinals, it would be the best piece of television ever. She seemed genuinely flattered by that.
We chatted a bit about One on One with Jane Mitchell and she was impressed with how many episodes we had seen. My head was spinning as I tried to figure out something to say that wasn't related to bacon or hand washing clothing. It was difficult.
In the end, she did her best to remember our names. Maybe she pulled it off, maybe not. I just know that we have met Jane Mitchell and we have come across to the other side.
The moral of the story: John Weisbarth wants to wrap Drew Brees in bacon.