BREAKING NEWS! REALLY OLD PADRE COMES OUT OF RETIREMENT TO PLAY FOR THE PADRES!
by Dex on Apr 1, 2010 10:25 AM PDT
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In a slightly believable (if not paying attention), but totally unrealistic turn of events, a really old former Padre has decided to come out of retirement to play for the Padres. He will be manning a position that would not necessarily make sense even if this totally implausible situation were true. Like first base or something.
Manager Jed Hoyer commented on the situation by saying, "Said really old Padre is a mainstay in the community and his presence on the team will be a foundation for our World Series run this year."
Salary figures were not made available, but insiders say that Jeff Moorad, in an equally improbable turn of events, has freed up payroll to offer something in the range of $10 million for the really old Padre to play for one season.
"It had to be done," Moorad said sleepily through his drowsy eyes.
MORE AS IT COMES!!!
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It's got to be Gwynn senior
But seriously, I would pay him money to DH for interleague games, and then use his son to pinch run…
same
No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.
Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't
Dave Winfield!
"I aim to misbehave." - Mal Reynolds
Bolts From The Blue - Heavy with the facts, slightly less heavy with the opinions.
by Zach (maestro876) on Apr 1, 2010 10:41 AM PDT reply actions
Winfield's Ghost!
"When the going gets tough... TheGrandHatching pops in later." -- WG
by TheGrandHatching on Apr 1, 2010 10:41 AM PDT reply actions 3 recs
I get the feeling....
That it will be Ryan Klesko. Or maybe April fools.
Sean Burroughs
"Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
Matt Bush
"Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
Jose Cruz Jr.
"Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
Randy Myers
"Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
Q
"Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
Steve Garvey
"Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
The Chicken
"Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
John "I am a lazy stupid Fat Ass" Kruck
"Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"
Kevin Jarvis
No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.
Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't
Bobby Jones
No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.
Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't
The other Bobby Jones
No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.
Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't
It's Jesus Christ Lopez
and he’ll make an appearance at his press conference this Sunday.
Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? ◔ヮ◔
Uncommon Sportsman :: Absurdity in play
by Axion on Apr 1, 2010 1:31 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
just realized Jesus Lopez isn't on the wiki
maybe someone with more knowledge on the origins can fix that
I thought about it
He’s both a Padres farmhand and a meme. So I didn’t feel like figuring out where he belonged and gave up. Story of my life.
No, I don't think you're an idiot. Please don't go trying to prove me wrong about that.
Bolts from the Blue - General Manager: It is what it isn't
Rob Deer
Embarass the organization...VEGEMITE!!! ~Bud Black
by icaughthundleys#4 on Apr 1, 2010 1:40 PM PDT reply actions
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