Spring Training Day 1: The Journey Begins

Me in front of the Date Shakes place. Some bikers with chihuahuas behind me.

JBox and I are chillin' before heading over to the park. I took notes on the drive over. Here they are:

9:30 - On the road. Almost saw a Mercedes get hit by a semi as the lanes merged. Police officer gave the benz driver a look like, use your f_cking eyes. Listening to what we think is Justin Bieber.

9:39 - Talking to jbox about John Weisbarth. Also talked about the feasibility of an East County minor league team. Thinking about a nap maybe. Too soon?

9:43 - JBox mentioning that he was going to write a bukkake themed blog post last night comparing the pornographic Japanese practice to "hitting a grand slam". He avoided it in case we got into a car wreck. Didn't want it to represent the last thing he ever wrote. Morbid. Pervy.

9:53 - Does the Padres front office fly out to Spring Training or drive?

10:00 - Traveled 50 miles.

10:10 - Hit 100mph on the speedometer. jk, chp.

10:12 - JBox and I have our first fight after he accuses me of not looking out for cops properly. "IF YOU SEE SIRENS, TELL ME!" Now we are at war.

10:13 - Now we are friends again.

10:16 - Border patrol checkpoint. JBox doesn't roll his window down for the patrolman and then only cracks it open when the patrolman indicates to do so. I think jbox has a problem with authority figures.

10:30 - Approaching what appear to be dunes.

10:32 - Not dunes. Just a bunch of shrubbery and sand.

10:50 - Susan Sarandon has a daughter hotter than El Centro. JBox and I brainstorming a screenplay. Hoping to cast both sexy Sarandons.

11:05 - I look over one of my vlogs and realize that I look like a wreck with a double chin. JBox gives me some tips on how he positions his head to get his best angle in photographs. Gay.

11:12 - Mini sandstorm! Roll up the windows!

11:20 - About to stop at a rest stop, but passed it because it looked a little smelly.

11:25 - Passed what looked like the church from November Rain.

12:30 - Called the hotel to verify reservations. "You need to be here by 6 o'clock or else the room will be released!" Relax, lady.

12:39 - Coming up on Dateland

12:46 - JBox nervous about date shakes. I get a small one. Chewy date bits. We fill up the tank and reset the trip meter. Traveled 232 miles.

1:34 - JBox: "If diarrhea is what it is, then what is the equivalent of urine?" I try to think of what it is and before I answer, he says, "Peoria. Write that down." I tell him that it's a little insulting to the city of Peoria and he yells at me, "WRITE THAT DOWN." We are at war again.

1:36 - We see a sign for Petroglyphs and decide to stop. Now we are friends again.

1:36 - Nevermind. Petroglyphs are 11 miles out of the way. BAck on the freeway.

2:45 - Arrived at the hotel!

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