On optometrists, fifth starters and poutine

I'm real tired and I have nothing new to blog about. I figure I'll just start writing and maybe something will happen.

Just to give you a little behind the scenes at Gaslamp Ball: JBox and I will regroup over the phone every so often to talk about what's going on on the blog and if we should do anything different. Usually what happens is I'll come up with a recommendation and jbox will start to yell at me cause he thinks I'm being too mean and I'll cry and cry and then we'll apologize to each other and talk about how, if only we had been recording the conversation, it would've made for a good 45 minute podcast.

We'll also talk about various strategies for blogging. I know it doesn't seem like it, but we burn through tons and tons of bad ideas before we get to the bad ideas you get to read.

So if I don't have anything to write about these days, I'll look on Twitter and see what people are saying. And mostly it's nothing so I'll just tweet some random stuff about nothing along with everybody else. Except for my nothing will be f_cking hilarious. No they won't, but that's OK.

So some of you may have noticed that my look has gone from black glasses to no glasses lately. I been wearing the "contact lenses". This week though, I'll be moving back to the glasses. I like to switch it up every now and then.

When I went into the optometrist, I found out that I'm kinda maybe on the borderline for possibly having glaucoma. I had never heard this before and asked for an explanation.

"Well basically, there's a ratio where if you're between 0 and .5, you're normal."

"So where am I?"

"You're right at .45."

"So I'm normal?"

"Technically yes, but you're right at that border."

"Well, what can I do? Should I take some preventative measures?"

"Do? Oh no there's nothing you can do."

Well f_ck that, I thought. I'm gonna try to score some weed out of this. But I've been looking online and it doesn't look like one could actually get medical marijuana for glaucoma, and even if one could, for it to be effective, you have to smoke a lot. Like every 3 hours for a couple of days straight. And at that point, even if it clears up your vision, what would you want look at when you're that high? The back of your hand? The Dark Side of the Moon poster taped to the side of the refrigerator in the garage? It's like a catch 22.

Later in the appointment, my doctor also told me that I have a lazy eye. He changed his diagnosis on that one a minute later, but still... For that minute I was really concerned that I was going to be that guy on the trolleys in the morning where people across the aisle from me would think I was staring at them even though I'd be trying to focus on reading quietly.

Anyways, jbox said I should write about who the Padres fifth starter should be, but I'll let you in on a secret: It doesn't really matter.

That being said, it will be Mat Latos. That's just what I'm going with.

Also, do you think a hot dog bun made with torta bread would be good? Me too.

I saw that Sam the Cooking Guy made poutine for the Today Show. I've had me some legit poutine (french fries, cheese curd, gravy) in Canada and it would make for terrific ballpark food. Why hasn't this happened yet? Also, you know who serves poutine is Tivoli. That place is the tits.

If you're a little offended by my use of the word "tits" in the last paragraph, it's actually a proper use of the word. I'm older now, but I still can talk with the kids like I'm 16. Also, I've had acne on my forehead recently like a 16 year old. This is how I roll.

OK. This is enough for a blog post. I'm going to go back to watching figure skating.