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Around SBN: The Ten Worst Swings Of The 2011 Season

I'll tell you my two favorite activities at Friar Fan Fest

I was sooo excited about catching pop flies in the outfield.  I woke up at 5:40am this morning going over each catch in my head and unable to go back to sleep. 

Once on the field we waited in line for about an hour in the blazing hot sun.  All I could think about were those easy cans of corn falling into my glove.  I kept telling Dex and Jon how I was going to show boat and make them look like fools.


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When we were about 3 people from the front of the line the pitching machine that was shooting fly balls into the air ran out of batteries.  I know what you're thinking, "Pitching machines take batteries?"  I know, right?  Who knew?  Well apparently they couldn't find the cord so about 15 minutes later some dude just started tossing balls into the air.

I went first, grabbed a plastic giveaway kids glove and headed to the field, cocky as all hell.  First ball, cake walk.  Second ball, walk in the par-- it bounces out of my glove! WHHYY!?  I can hear Jon laughing and Dex tweeting away on his phone about it.  Ugh.  Third ball, basket catch.

Jon and Dex caught all of their balls.  Boy did I feel dumb.  At this point, I'm sure Dex wants me to tell you that Jon dropped a ball on the transfer.  That's just the way Dex is, he wants you to feel bad about yourself.


My second favorite activity was calling a play on Channel 4 with Mark Neely.  I was the only one who wanted to do it, so I went up to the anchor desk and there was Mark in all his glory, with a fresh haircut and wearing his Sunday's best.  Let me tell you something about Neely, that guy is some kinda nice.  Very friendly and likeable guy.

After introducing himself, he shows me a list of about 8 plays that I can choose from.  I'll tell you right now I would be a terrible broadcaster.  I've got a really high pitched voice like Abraham Lincoln and an inability to think of words when I need them most.

I'm like "Mark, honestly I don't know what I'm doing, I'm going to go with the first one."  It turned out to be Kyle Blanks' inside the park home run.  Mark asks me if I remember it.  I answer "Vaguely". Every Padre game runs together in my mind, just like James Bond movies.  "Is this the one where George Lazenby snow boards off a cliff into a shark tank on the moon?" 

Mark asks if I'd like to watch it first before I make the call.  "Nah, let's just do this."  I have no idea what I'm going to say, I'm hoping that inspiration hits me, planning will only make it worse.

Keep in mind that the only thing I know about this play is that Blanks hits an inside the park home run.  I'm on loud speakers so that everybody in the vicinity can hear me.

The clip starts to play...

"Kyle Blanks up to bat... and the pitch... "

The second Blanks makes contact

"GOOOOONE!  NO DOUBT ABOUT IT! GOOOOOOONE!  HE'S DONE IT! GET OUT! GOOONE!"

The ball hits off the top off the wall in center field  Now I'm shrieking. .

"OH NO! IT'S OFF THE WALL!  RUN YOU S.O.B.! RUUUUN!"

I look up from the screen and the crowd is standing there quiet like when Marty plays "Johnny B. Goode" in front of 1950's teenagers in Back to the Future.

After the play I turn to Mark holding the microphone to him, "What do you think about all this Mark?"

He responded "well you definitely have the emotion and the enthusiasm."

That was fun.  As I was waiting for my picture to print a little kid came up to me and told me I did a great job. Thanks kid, if only Dex was more like you.

Comment 38 comments  |  5 recs  | 

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This sounds awesome.

I bet Blanks heard it and laughed. Did you guys get any autographs?

Oh internet, what a wicked web you weave.

by Mad_Villain on Feb 13, 2010 7:50 PM PST reply actions  

My favorite part of Fan Fest

This

And I've been into the plants and simple treasures

by CurbEnthusiasm on Feb 13, 2010 8:19 PM PST reply actions  

Catching pop flies was hilarious.

I didn’t actually participate, so I can’t talk too much ish. But watching grown men misjudge the ball and look ridiculous was fun.

I was also making bets with myself about when the first kid was going to get hit in the face by the ball. Kids who were either too young or too uncoordinated were having trouble tracking and waived their gloves aimlessly. The ball would miss their unprotected faces by mere inches.

The on field stuff was awesome though. I was having a blast just seeing the field from that prospective. I really wanted to throw a couple of pitches with heath bell, but only kids were in line so I figured I shouldn’t.

by soulSD on Feb 13, 2010 8:23 PM PST reply actions  

It's all fun and games

until you become that guy in front of 7000 people.

by jbox on Feb 13, 2010 8:35 PM PST up reply actions  

Were the pop flys harder to judge with the stands

or do you just zone them out?

Oh internet, what a wicked web you weave.

by Mad_Villain on Feb 13, 2010 8:51 PM PST up reply actions  

It was easy

no way you should be dropping anything.

by jbox on Feb 13, 2010 9:00 PM PST up reply actions  

Cake

It was a piece of cake, but I have to admit I was crazy nervous on the first one, with all those people there.

by Jonny Dub on Feb 13, 2010 9:16 PM PST up reply actions  

Also,

I wish i could have heard you make this call.

by soulSD on Feb 13, 2010 8:31 PM PST reply actions  

My favorite parts:

-Mudcat saying he loved my hat and Matt’s jacket. Since jbox and Jon had the same hat as me, that means he also indirectly complimented you guys as well. Congrats.
-Hanging out with lame Gaslamp Ballers.
-Running into Mat Latos on our way to the clubhouse and being so in shock that I couldn’t do/say anything.

There might have been one more thing…

Oh yeah, meeting that Everth Cabrera guy was alright.

"I'm a Padre at heart. Always gonna root for the Padres. Twenty-five years [with this organization], how can't you? Next year I'm gonna be rooting like a son-of-a-gun for these guys and for Blackie ... I'm gonna be rooting for the next general manager here, rooting for the city, the fans, everybody. I think a lot of San Diego." -Kevin Towers

by jodes0405 on Feb 13, 2010 8:56 PM PST reply actions   1 recs

Weird

You didn’t seem to be “so in shock” when you met us. You had no problem saying and doing things.

by jbox on Feb 13, 2010 9:01 PM PST up reply actions  

Well I have been preparing myself for that moment ever since I discovered GLB.

I rehearsed it over and over in my head for months so that I wouldn’t look like a fool. Really, the whole time I was so scared that you would see me sweating from nerves. I’m glad I was able to play it so cool.

"I'm a Padre at heart. Always gonna root for the Padres. Twenty-five years [with this organization], how can't you? Next year I'm gonna be rooting like a son-of-a-gun for these guys and for Blackie ... I'm gonna be rooting for the next general manager here, rooting for the city, the fans, everybody. I think a lot of San Diego." -Kevin Towers

by jodes0405 on Feb 13, 2010 9:08 PM PST up reply actions  

Meeting Everth

You brought a change of pants with you, right?

by creanium on Feb 13, 2010 10:04 PM PST up reply actions  

I laid eyes upon him

He was angelic.

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? ◔ヮ◔
Uncommon Sportsman :: Absurdity in play

by Axion on Feb 13, 2010 10:28 PM PST up reply actions  

Everth nickname suggestion:

THE GLORY

"I'm a Padre at heart. Always gonna root for the Padres. Twenty-five years [with this organization], how can't you? Next year I'm gonna be rooting like a son-of-a-gun for these guys and for Blackie ... I'm gonna be rooting for the next general manager here, rooting for the city, the fans, everybody. I think a lot of San Diego." -Kevin Towers

by jodes0405 on Feb 14, 2010 3:27 PM PST up reply actions  

It's weird, but not surprising, that you aren't the only person who has asked me that question.

"I'm a Padre at heart. Always gonna root for the Padres. Twenty-five years [with this organization], how can't you? Next year I'm gonna be rooting like a son-of-a-gun for these guys and for Blackie ... I'm gonna be rooting for the next general manager here, rooting for the city, the fans, everybody. I think a lot of San Diego." -Kevin Towers

by jodes0405 on Feb 14, 2010 3:24 PM PST up reply actions  

LOL!!

Hahaha I’m laughing my head off. Seriously funny entry dude. Great to meet you guys today!!!

by unfinishedbusiness on Feb 13, 2010 8:59 PM PST reply actions  

Very nice to meet you too!

That was a weird coincidence how like 5 bloggers all ended up in the same place at the same time.

by jbox on Feb 13, 2010 9:02 PM PST up reply actions  

"I'm a Padre at heart. Always gonna root for the Padres. Twenty-five years [with this organization], how can't you? Next year I'm gonna be rooting like a son-of-a-gun for these guys and for Blackie ... I'm gonna be rooting for the next general manager here, rooting for the city, the fans, everybody. I think a lot of San Diego." -Kevin Towers

by jodes0405 on Feb 14, 2010 6:31 PM PST up reply actions  

That's my fate

hanging out with bloggers forevers?

by jbox on Feb 14, 2010 6:53 PM PST up reply actions  

I'm just saying it was fate that you guys were all there at the same time.

"I'm a Padre at heart. Always gonna root for the Padres. Twenty-five years [with this organization], how can't you? Next year I'm gonna be rooting like a son-of-a-gun for these guys and for Blackie ... I'm gonna be rooting for the next general manager here, rooting for the city, the fans, everybody. I think a lot of San Diego." -Kevin Towers

by jodes0405 on Feb 14, 2010 8:44 PM PST up reply actions  

No fate but what we make

Mountain West Connection ::Above the Rest::
Bolts From The Blue "There’s a gleam men. Let’s go get the gleam! Focus and Finish!!! One play at a time!!! Let's Go!!!"
it kind of reminds me of that movie "You've got mail"...I'm Tom Hanks he's Meg Ryan -- Padres prospect Matt Antonelli on sdsuaztec4

by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Feb 14, 2010 10:24 PM PST up reply actions  

This post...


… so awesome.

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? ◔ヮ◔
Uncommon Sportsman :: Absurdity in play

by Axion on Feb 13, 2010 9:09 PM PST reply actions  

It was awesome as usual but so much better than other years.

Excellent post! I wish I could have met all the GLB’ers and feel like a lame ass for having to go so late but I at least got to meet Jenny Cavnar and that makes any day wonderful.

by goldfyngor on Feb 13, 2010 9:21 PM PST reply actions  

two best parts for me

1. getting my picture with Buddy Black on our way in to the clubhouse tour. he was just kickin it in his office like it was a normal day. awesome.
2. lying down on the outfield grass loving life. i coulda napped there…

"I suggest more bike" ~KSK

www.throughbucknerslegs.com

by justdave on Feb 13, 2010 9:49 PM PST reply actions  

Only way this gets better

is if Russo did her photo of the day with you in it

Don't hate the game, hate the nerds!

by thenerdhater on Feb 14, 2010 12:00 PM PST reply actions  

I've never actually seen video of myself throwing a baseball

I’m so glad to learn that I don’t look like a complete tool.

by Dex on Feb 14, 2010 1:18 PM PST reply actions  

TWO HANDS!!!

I know you know better! Your legs had the instincts of a Willie Mays but your hands said, “Pleased to meet you, I’m Brady Clark.”

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? ◔ヮ◔
Uncommon Sportsman :: Absurdity in play

by Axion on Feb 14, 2010 2:18 PM PST up reply actions  

What's with the glove?

Why do you keep hitting it and shaking while you’re getting ready for the catch?

Don't hate the game, hate the nerds!

by thenerdhater on Feb 15, 2010 9:29 AM PST up reply actions  

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