Dear Gaslamp Ball Dream Diary,
I had a dream last night that I was shopping at J.C. Penny and I ran into Trevor Hoffman outfitted in his 1998 pinstripe uniform. He was there with a few other guys who were apparently the rest of the bullpen but I didn't recognize any of them.
One of the heavier pot bellied pitchers passed by me and heckled, "Where's Jonny Dub?" This triggered laughter from the rest of the bullpen guys. Trevor Hoffman was nice though, he told me that they needed to sign some things but wanted me to wait for him.
A J.C. Penny employee carried out a bunch of white Hanes underwears and some all white shoes to the signing table. The store then shot colorful confetti in the air and the guys started signing the Hanes shirts, shoes and briefs.
I got bored watching them sign underwears and decided not to wait around. As I started to leave Hoffman caught up to me and taught me some secret bullpen handshakes. They were all really lame, like the ankle handshake.