Padres shut out the Cardinals 4-0, Nick Hundley handles everything himself

Nick Hundley hit himself a 3-run home run last night, which was enough to top the Cardinals who had no answer in their smug little red bag of deceit for the Padres. Hundley also managed himself an amazing (unassisted?) double play.

"I tried to cheat a few times," complained catcher Yadier Molina. "But it was no use."

"I made fun of them because they not good at baseball like we are," said Albert Pujols. "But then they showed me error of my ways."

Manager Tony La Russa was similarly non-plussed. "I didn't think it was even possible for us to lose to the Padres. Literally, it was beyond my comprehension and I'm the most brilliant man in the history of baseball."

La Russa added, "Wait. Did Albert Einstein ever manage a baseball team?"

Laughing heartily before his face quickly hardened into his famous Tony La Russa scowl, he then noted, "No. Of course Albert Einstein didn't manage a baseball team. I knew that because of my intellect."

Clayton Richard resumed his amazing lucky streak last night with the win, which included Hundley's double play in the fourth. After Matt Holliday struck out, Nick Hundley casually ran down to where Brendan Ryan and Albert Pujols were hanging out on second base and tagged them out.

That double play was immediately voted as the Best. Double. Play. By-a-catcher. Evar.