So I was having trouble finding someone to go to Monday's game against the D-Backs with.  I had two tickets and wasn't about to waste them, so I was preparing to go by myself.  Then I realized, "Hey, why not bring your camera and take a bunch of pics?  Then you can write a bitchin' FanPost on GLB later!  Everyone will love it and give you a ton of rec's!"  So that is what I did, and what follows was all done with my GLB comrades in mind.  Being that I was by myself I made like a freelance photographer and walked around the whole ballpark, to places I had never been before.  Also, I've never done a FanPost like this, so I hope it all works.  Enjoy!

WARNING:  There are a lot of photos here so it may take some time for this to load.

Let's start at the beginning, with a couple photos of my car, which I parked at the Morena/Linda Vista trolley station.

 
Who needs a front license plate anyway?

The trolley arrived right on schedule.  I was the only discernable Padre fan there at 6:45.  There were a couple of punks who I assume were headed to the game, but they weren't wearing any Padre gear and seemed to have never used the trolley before.

 
Santa Fe Depot and One America Plaza.  Almost there!

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As I exited the trolley with about 5 minutes until game time, I was addressed by a sweet old lady as "Sugar."  Needless to say it got me super amped for some baseball.  I made my way to the main entrance, passed 4 cute girls in Arizona State University softball jerseys, said nothing, and stopped to take this sweet photo.

 
Peavy on the mound, not convulsing or vometing due to illness, and lookin' good in the high socks.  Soon you will notice that I start behind home plate and make my way clockwise around the ballpark.

 
Rich people in action.  Also, Dex in a chef's outfit.

 
View from field level.  This is where I realized that if I ever bought a standing-room only ticket to a game, this is where I would be standing.  Only.

 
Pads at the plate.  Nothing happened.  This is where I was first mistaken as a PETCO employee.  The second time came near the end of the game.  I guess that's what people think when you're standing by yourself in a blue Hawaiian shirt and a straw hat.  I should've worn something else.

 
I don't remember what this place is called (Palm Plaza?  PETCO Plaza?), but you all know what it is.  I believe the PETA brick is by the palm on the top right, or that middle one.  I've seen it before, have any of you?

 
Looking West down K Street, at the edge of the food court thingy behind the left field seats.  THERE ARE TWO MARIOTT'S IN THIS PICTURE.

 
That's the Claw looking down, and somebody giving me the stinkeye.

 
Eric Byrnes, not paying attention, as usual.  He doesn't even have his glove on the correct hand!  What a joke.

 
The "Beachers."  I don't know about you all, but I personally do not like having a daycare in right center field.  Granted, I don't have kids, but it is just a teensy bit embarrassing.  The Park at the Park, however, is awesome.  I can't wait until somebody hits a homerun out there.

 
The view from right field, where I have discovered my favorite kind of fans sit.  Those sections are always loud, there's always people standing, and people heckle and start cheers without anybody telling them to!  When I try and do that in my section I get dirty looks and someone telling me "This is supposed to be a family environment!"  C'est la vie.

 
Looking down the first base line.  Here you can see the visitor's bullpen, near which I used to have season tickets.  Besides the obvious ribbing of the opposing pitchers, my favorite thing to do was to pick on one of the nobodies, like the bullpen catcher, and heckle him the entire game.  I'd blame every Padre run on him.  I hope it drove them crazy.

 
A stylish photo.

 
Park at the Park, "Mr. Padre" statue, and what I assume is an empty condominium tower.

  
The Cool Section.

 
Pad Squad #58 telling people to cheer.  Here's my beef with the Pad Squad: Often times people will only cheer if the scoreboard tells them to "MAKE SOME NOISE!!!" (One of these days we're going to break that noisemeter...), or if they can get free crap from the Pad Squad or some corporate mascots.  Sure, it makes for an entertaining environment, but I for one do not go to Padre games to be entertained.  I go to watch my team win (and help where I can), support my city, and take awesome pictures for you guys.  I just think people need to learn to cheer on their own.  Also, the golden hue splashing onto the intricate steel beams by the sun is no accident.

 
Section 329.  Anyone ever been here?  I happened upon it on Saturday night.  It's A SINGLE ROW OF SEATS at the top of the Never-Ending-Right-Field-Death-Ramp-Of-Doom.  I thought it was kinda neat.

  
The Coronado Bridge.

 
Peavy Doin' Work (an LJbumfool joint).  I hope you get that joke.

 
Main entrance from above.  It's like the third inning now so don't worry that no one is there.

 
I could be sitting in one of those seats with a friend in the other, if only someone had wanted to go with me :( .  Actually maybe not; aren't those seats reserved for disabled persons?  Do I know any disabled persons?

 
Da ho' field.

 
Some beautiful light stanchions, some lovely red-orange clouds, and some more empty condo towers.

 
Looking North on 7th I believe.  By now I have completed a full lap around the ballpark.

 
What's that hiding over there, down that aisle?  Oh, it's the right field foul pole!  What a joker, that right field foul pole.

 
Bullpen, PATP, retired numbers, etc.

  
Yo, is this a cool shot, or is this a cool shot?

  
May I present to you, the Greatest Deal in Sports, the 5 for $5.  In case you are wondering, there is mustard and relish on that hot dog, and Coca-Cola in that Coca-Cola cup.  Be careful with that bag of peanuts, it is not sealed very well at the ends.  Should you be preparing to open it when who but Will Venable hits an RBI single on Saturday June 6th, against the Diamondbacks, and you throw your arms up to celebrate, completely confident that the bag of peanuts you are holding was manufactured correctly, be aware that that bag of peanuts is NOT manufactured correctly, and you may end up having to apologize to your entire section for showering them with said nuts.  Just sayin'...

  
This is where I stopped to eat my dinner, way up high in Section 307 or something like that.  Here I saw the Diamondbacks score 2 runs and the Padres counter with 4.

 
Moving on...

Bud Black trying desperately to get tossed.  He may never get thrown out of a game again.

  
Now THIS is more like it.

  
Scrappy-Doo, batting for SD.

 
Thin Gwynn, standing near second after his RBI single and advancing to second on the throw.  He's been hitting well, eh?

 
The Cartographer, charting a course for victory.  Actually he was watching Rockies @ Cardinals highlights.  And this is the second time I was mistaken for someone who worked at the ballpark.

 
There's that right field foul pole again!

Cool Kids in The Cool Section.

I think we all know this guy.  I have never not seen this guy at a game.  I remember watching a game on TV once.  We were at home playing the Cubs and Neifi Perez hit a low homerun to left.  This guy caught the homerun ball in his glove, transferred the ball from his glove to his throwing hand, as effortlessly as if he and Neifi were just playing catch, and threw the ball back onto the field.  I was so impressed.  I can't wait to do that!

 
Oh hey, we won.

  
I got on the trolley and headed back home.  When I got to my car at the Morena/Linda Vista parking lot (there were maybe 6 cars there), I happened upon a homeless lady sitting between my car on the driver's side and the one next to it.  She had a bike, some plastic bags, and either a water filter or a coffee maker, I'm not sure which.  I was startled, but she was very polite and apologetic, and there were no problems.  Now I am at home and have finally finished writing the best FanPost ever.

This is the part where I pray I did everything right and all the pictures show up and all that, 'cause there's no way I'm doing this again if it didn't work.  I'm driving up to LA tomorrow and going to the Padre games on Tuesday and Wednesday (with a friend this time).  If you all behave there may be another FanPost in it for you.