Return of the Best. Season. Evar.

I'll be honest with you. When we dipped below .500, I didn't think we were ever going to return. We moved so far and fast below .500, my head spun. Now that we've come right back up again so quickly, I'm worried that the bends are going to hit me. My ears are popping. Somebody get me a pressurized cabin, a paper bag and some Visine.

And to top it off, we didn't even get to see it in San Diego. TV blackout. I picture Morgigno laughing to himself. Watching the game in his office with Chyron Bob.

I was painting the bathroom walls in the house we're moving into in a week and the radio was turned up. Nothing like applying caulk while listening to the smoove sounds of T-JAM (Ted, Jerry, Andy Masur). When we fell behind, I distinctly remember mentioning to both my father-in-law and my dad about how terrible the Padres are on the road while being so awesome at home. (Incidentally, both were helping at the house. I'm not involved in some ridiculous incestual relationship.)

By the time the Padres started hitting, I was deciding whether I wanted to go over my caulk job with a brush or a roller, and I thought to myself, ten wins in a row would be impressive. And sure enough, they did it. 

I'm not even quite sure how it happened. It sounded like Hundley was terrible behind the plate. It sounded like we got hosed on a few calls. It sounded like Chad couldn't keep it together. And then all of a sudden there were boobirds and it sounded like T-Jam was gonna lose their collective sh_t as the Padres just blew them away with a Susan Boyle type performance.

No joke, this is the seventh inning on:

Oh here we go. This is gonna suck. Who do these guys think they are? Seriously...

THERE WAS A TIME WHEN MEN WERE KIND....

Woah. Wait, what?

THEIR  VOICES SOFT, THEIR WORDS INVITING...

Is this happening? OMG.

THERE WAS A TIME WHEN LOVE WAS BLIND

Seriously, WTF.

THE WORLD A SONG, THE SONG EXCITING...

I can't believe what I just saw. This is why I watch baseball. A million times, YES!

I know haven't said it in a while, but at this point, I'm almost convinced of it.

Best. Season. Evar.