My lunch hour take on A-Rod

Here's what I'm thinking about this whole A-Rod thing.

First point: Ain't no nothing going into my butt unless I'm signing off on it 250%. I don't care if you're my cousin, my doctor, my priest or my wife. I better know what your intention is with that needle and how it pertains to my butt.

If you want to put something in my butt and have it leave behind any sort of chemical compound, man-made or natural, I better know exactly what it is. You get that thing away from my butt.

Second point: If you want to give me hundreds of millions of dollars and part of the bargain is to have something get put in my butt and I'm not allowed to ask any questions about it, then I'm pretty sure I can ignore my own first point.

Anybody who want to pay me upwards of $200 million can put just about anything in my butt as long as I get the money up front. No questions asked. Tic-Tacs for $100 million? Done. What's that? Steroids? $120 million? Hmmm... Lemme think about... Done.  Gerbils? $180 million? Sure, why not.

Third point: Stuff that you're able to buy "over the counter" in a third world country, isn't likely to be the same kind of stuff you're able to buy over the counter at a 7-11 in Manhattan. I've not been to every third world country out there, but I feel like that's a safe bet.

For example, I heard that you can get prostitutes "over the counter" in Thailand. Does that make it right in terms of prostitution and what can be found over the counter in the U.S.? No.

Fourth point: Just because you can buy something freely, doesn't mean you should use it for things that people find evil. Like, I can buy condoms freely here in San Diego, but it would be evil and irresponsible for me to slip a condom in somebody's drink. That's a choking hazard.

That's all I got.