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Around SBN: Jeremy Lin Continues Rampage, New York Wins On Road

My lunch hour take on A-Rod

Here's what I'm thinking about this whole A-Rod thing.

First point: Ain't no nothing going into my butt unless I'm signing off on it 250%. I don't care if you're my cousin, my doctor, my priest or my wife. I better know what your intention is with that needle and how it pertains to my butt.

If you want to put something in my butt and have it leave behind any sort of chemical compound, man-made or natural, I better know exactly what it is. You get that thing away from my butt.

Second point: If you want to give me hundreds of millions of dollars and part of the bargain is to have something get put in my butt and I'm not allowed to ask any questions about it, then I'm pretty sure I can ignore my own first point.

Anybody who want to pay me upwards of $200 million can put just about anything in my butt as long as I get the money up front. No questions asked. Tic-Tacs for $100 million? Done. What's that? Steroids? $120 million? Hmmm... Lemme think about... Done.  Gerbils? $180 million? Sure, why not.

Third point: Stuff that you're able to buy "over the counter" in a third world country, isn't likely to be the same kind of stuff you're able to buy over the counter at a 7-11 in Manhattan. I've not been to every third world country out there, but I feel like that's a safe bet.

For example, I heard that you can get prostitutes "over the counter" in Thailand. Does that make it right in terms of prostitution and what can be found over the counter in the U.S.? No.

Fourth point: Just because you can buy something freely, doesn't mean you should use it for things that people find evil. Like, I can buy condoms freely here in San Diego, but it would be evil and irresponsible for me to slip a condom in somebody's drink. That's a choking hazard.

That's all I got.

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Re: Point 2

I’ve got $10.35. What can that get me?

by Dalton on Feb 17, 2009 1:47 PM PST reply actions  

hmmm...

Maybe a brand of TP I haven’t tried yet?

by Dex on Feb 17, 2009 2:07 PM PST up reply actions  

Starting paypal donation account

So that we may put together a collection in the interest of putting things in Dex.

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? ◔ヮ◔
Uncommon Sportsman :: Absurdity in play

by Axion on Feb 17, 2009 2:46 PM PST up reply actions   2 recs

It should be like Major League

More Padres wins this season = larger objects to put in Dex

by Dalton on Feb 18, 2009 12:16 PM PST up reply actions  

Evil? Maybe

Irresponsible? Hardly!

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you? ◔ヮ◔
Uncommon Sportsman :: Absurdity in play

by Axion on Feb 17, 2009 2:45 PM PST reply actions  

Did Eddie Muphy's "Boogie in your Butt" immediately pop into anyone else's brain while reading this?
Say, put a tree in your butt
Put a, a bumblebee in your butt
Put a clock in your butt
Put a big rock in your butt
Say, put some fleas in your butt
Say, start to sneeze in your butt
Say, put a tin can in your butt
Put a little tiny man in your butt
Say, put a light in your butt
Say, make it bright in your butt
Say, put a TV in your butt
Say, put me in your butt

No? Just me? Again, eh? (sigh)

"We're not going to be as bad as you think."

by Drama on Feb 17, 2009 3:02 PM PST reply actions   1 recs

Uh - no

Mostly because I have never heard of that song…and I am deeply disturbed that you have and that just the mention of the word ‘butt’ a few times made it appear in your brain…..

Looks like you have yourself in Regular Season form already ;→

by Christina on Feb 17, 2009 3:10 PM PST up reply actions  

Now wait a second, now...

Do y’all get paid for this, for doing this?
Puttin’ the butt and all that stuff?
Really?
What’s this? A 100 dollar bill?
I get to keep this 100 dollars if
I be puttin stuff in people’s butts?
Really?
Step aside.

"When the going gets tough... TheGrandHatching pops in later." -- WG

by TheGrandHatching on Feb 18, 2009 11:10 AM PST up reply actions   1 recs

WHOOP there it is!

Brady Hoke, Al Borges, and Rocky Long. Aztec football is back!

by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Feb 17, 2009 4:09 PM PST up reply actions  

I don't

Why do Pettitte and Giambi (who never even specified what, exactly, he was apologizing for) get the slate wiped clean? Just because A-Rod is a douche?

by Dalton on Feb 17, 2009 4:37 PM PST up reply actions  

I don't think Pearlman was defending Pettitte or Giambi. Maybe I read it wrong?

I do agree with Pearlman when he asks why in the hell was Jeter there?

"We're not going to be as bad as you think."

by Drama on Feb 17, 2009 8:27 PM PST up reply actions  

No

I took his point about Pettitte and leapt to the overarching reaction to this story from the media, blogs, etc.— everyone’s demonizing A-Rod like he invented steroids just because they don’t like that guy. Meanwhile Pettitte & Giambi go, “Whoops, my bad, dog,” and that’s the end of it.

Regarding the questions to Jeter, Pettitte, & Ca$hmoney, the answer is simple: they have this player on their team for NINE MORE YEARS. NINE. YEARS. Maybe they can’t afford to be as sanctimonious as everyone else in this situation? No, no, it makes a LOT more sense to take Pearlman’s advice and throw your star player with the long term contract (that no other team would take on in a billion years) under the bus.

There’s a bare minimum of over 100 other players that were doing steroids at the same time. That’s a few guys on every single major league roster. It’s just very easy to go after A-Rod (because he really makes it so, so easy), so people are piling on.

by Dalton on Feb 17, 2009 8:45 PM PST up reply actions  

All fair points.

"We're not going to be as bad as you think."

by Drama on Feb 17, 2009 8:52 PM PST up reply actions  

Now can we get back to putting stuff in Dex's butt?

"We're not going to be as bad as you think."

by Drama on Feb 17, 2009 8:54 PM PST up reply actions   3 recs

rec'd

…like his butt’s gonna be.

www.FriarsOnCardboard.blogspot.com
"jbox does not drink coffee, as it makes him clean house big time." ~Kev

by TheThirdGonzalez on Feb 17, 2009 10:38 PM PST up reply actions  

Well

We already know he can talk out of his ass.

Chicks Dig the Bullpen.

by eastbaysd on Feb 18, 2009 12:44 AM PST up reply actions  

Yes

I agree and to be quite frank "Baseball"supported A-Rod in that era, why not now? Maybe they are hoping this will be a big enough story on a big enough d-bag (not the NLW kind) that it will start to make this stuff go away now…?

And why is teixiera in the list of non-cheaters?

by ABY on Feb 18, 2009 10:55 AM PST up reply actions  

Adelita's

Thailand?

You can get prostitutes over the counter right here in the good old USA. Just go to Tijuana.

by Willy Billiams on Feb 18, 2009 12:09 PM PST reply actions  

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