Does it worry anybody else that the Padres decided to use a Nutcracker theme for their Holiday Greeting this year? I'll tell you one thing: If there's something Dex and his nuts don't need, it's any more cracking. Especially not from the people in charge at my favorite baseball team.

Not only that, it's not some triumphant piece from the Nutcracker, but the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. I'm a man and I like to watch husky men do manly things like play baseball and hire front office executives. I don't need nobody insinuating that I dance like a fairy made of sugar plums. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I think I would've gone with Christmastime is Here because it's so sad and depressing. Or I would've gone with Nuttin' for Christmas because it's like we must've been bad fans to have deserved the last couple seasons.