Front Office Mandate: Fashion & Pride

The San Diego Padres have mandated through an internal memo that the "SD" insignia is the official brand of the organization, furthermore stating that all Padres employees must visibly wear the "SD" logo somewhere on their person. This is according to infallible beacon of true Padre knowledge of this world and all worlds, Darren Smith, and it applies to all Padre employees, from the front office on down. It's a good move, and for two reasons:

• Fashion: Everyone knows the "SD" logo is pretty much the most fashionable accessory around. It has that obscure mystique that is a key component of any cutting edge look. When you see someone wearing the "SD" insignia, you can be certain you won't find any onions tied to their belts.
• Pride: Employees should be proud of the company they work for. They also should not be able to escape their shame. Before, they could hide amongst us, spying on us, carefully noting what meals we consume most and how often we yawn between the hours of 4 and 7, but no longer. 

This also applies to one Dave Winfield. This man has made numerous public appearances since this mandate, during playoff coverage and on MLB Network, and yet no "SD." Why no insignia, Dave? Your boss said you have to. Aren't you proud to be a Padre, Dave? You're also walking a very fine line, Dave, as you cannot be granted Prison-of-War rights under the Geneva Conventions in the event of your capture. I wouldn't want to find out what happens to the poor soul who is captured by Yankee fans not bound by international treaties.