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Smells Like Padres in Here - Monday Edition

My daughter started kindergarten today.  I am sad.  I just thought that you, as my Internet friends, should know that.

"I would have bet my whole salary that we wouldn't be this bad," said reliever Heath Bell.

On pace for 60-102.

The Padres and the Tigers suck.

Kyle Blanks is The Best, according to Baseball America.  I hope they start teaching him to play a new position so we could actually see him at the major league level.

Clay Hensley is trying to not be that guy anymore.  Even though he is.

Dan Haren takes on Jake Peavy tonight.  About four months ago, this would've been a must see match-up.  Unfortunately, tonight isn't four months ago.  The Padres will go for their eighth loss in row.  "Game" time is 7:05pm PDT.  (And a reminder that Drama's Good Time Old-Timey Open Thread is scheduled for tomorrow evening.  Clear your schedule now so you can be there tomorrow to watch the Padres suck.)

This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball managers or SB Nation.

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Comments

Display:

Just so nobody is worried

I had to work all weekend but I am back now. It’s ok. :D

Baseball was, is and always will be to me the best game in the world. -Babe Ruth

by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Aug 25, 2008 7:32 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

She started kindergarten??

My God, you are so f**king old. (Fat, too.)

by Drama on Aug 25, 2008 8:16 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Fatty

"When the going gets tough... TheGrandHatching pops in later." -- WG

by TheGrandHatching on Aug 25, 2008 9:03 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Fatty fatso...

In other news... Padres are 48-76 when tied at the top of the first inning.

by ABY on Aug 25, 2008 9:07 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Did someone say fat pricks?

No wonder nobody likes you, Tuttle... everything's a (Pujols) damn debate.

by royhobbs on Aug 25, 2008 9:22 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

twss

(wasn’t what I thought it was going to be either!)

In other news... Padres are 48-76 when tied at the top of the first inning.

by ABY on Aug 25, 2008 9:27 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

hey sir you can't park your van on the diving board

oh its not a van, its just a fat kid. hey fatty.

www.wellbelowthemendozaline.blogspot.com

by justdave on Aug 25, 2008 9:45 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I'm gonna need those hams back.

With a name like Smuckers, it has to be good!

by friarinchicago on Aug 25, 2008 10:27 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

here have a chocolate bar fatty

www.wellbelowthemendozaline.blogspot.com

by justdave on Aug 25, 2008 11:12 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

"I've got fuuuuddgge...."

“….Hershey’s….choc-o-late….kisses.”

by Drama on Aug 25, 2008 11:25 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Lookit

I got an idea. Why don’t we just put chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through?

No wonder nobody likes you, Tuttle... everything's a (Pujols) damn debate.

by royhobbs on Aug 25, 2008 11:28 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Gaslampball has no class anymore

calling each other fat pricks. I remember when we stood for something. Had class. Had honor. Back in the day when our one united goal was to call dodger fans “fat pricks”.

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra

by Sammy G on Aug 25, 2008 11:46 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

No wonder nobody likes you, Tuttle... everything's a (Pujols) damn debate.

by royhobbs on Aug 25, 2008 11:49 AM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

this needs to be a contest for Best Caption.

“According to the map, the deep fried oreo’s should be……”

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra

by Sammy G on Aug 25, 2008 1:14 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

you guys are harsh

I’d tell you to knock it off if this guy wasn’t wearing Dodger blue.
on that note, carry on.

by sacpadre on Aug 25, 2008 1:21 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Let's play a game

How many distinct stomach outlines can you see?

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

by Axion on Aug 25, 2008 1:25 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

How about this

“Gagne has really let himself go after the Steroid usage”

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra

by Sammy G on Aug 25, 2008 1:36 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Steroid usage?

I thought the beginning of the end for Gagne was when he did those commercials where he couldn’t throw fastballs through the trash bags.

No wonder nobody likes you, Tuttle... everything's a (Pujols) damn debate.

by royhobbs on Aug 25, 2008 1:46 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

“F*ckin’ Chuck Norris”

No wonder nobody likes you, Tuttle... everything's a (Pujols) damn debate.

by royhobbs on Aug 25, 2008 1:40 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

another one

“is that…..Wiggins!!!!”

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra

by Sammy G on Aug 25, 2008 2:13 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Manny looks a little different without the dreds.

"Only one thing is gonna walk you through this, Mal. Belief."

by kishi on Aug 25, 2008 5:04 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

"Had class. Had honor."

I think you’re misrembering, Fatso.

by Winfield's Ghost on Aug 25, 2008 12:20 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

No kidding.

You may want to mix in a Michelob Ultra here and there. Fatty.

by Drama on Aug 25, 2008 12:24 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

No need

if you drink till you puke……..NO calories.

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra

by Sammy G on Aug 25, 2008 1:13 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hey OOOOOLLLLLDDD DUDE

don’t you need to go buy 35 Drumsticks from the Ice Cream Man as you wait to pick up your daughter from school.

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra

by Sammy G on Aug 25, 2008 1:13 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

This is what comes to mind

Ralph: I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.
Lisa: Hey, my dad may have gained a little weight, but he’s not some kind of food-crazed maniac.
Homer: [driving past the bus in hijacked ice-cream truck, stuffing his face]

No wonder nobody likes you, Tuttle... everything's a (Pujols) damn debate.

by royhobbs on Aug 25, 2008 1:26 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Do you know why this is REALLY funny?

Because walking back to school to pick her up, I ate an ice cream sandwich.

by Winfield's Ghost on Aug 25, 2008 1:43 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

It was hot out

I needed something to cool me off. It’s a long walk. Like two and a half blocks.

by Winfield's Ghost on Aug 25, 2008 2:44 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

That was the greatest AM/PM commercial ever.

“I thought you were going jogging?”

“I got hot.”

“After two blocks?”

by Drama on Aug 25, 2008 2:48 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

omg i love that commercial

"i kinda feel like nevin and klesko were some fling we (the padres) had in the past and now realize were a bad idea and are embarrassed about."

by freelunch on Aug 25, 2008 4:28 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

oh yeah almost forgot

that commercial was fat.

and so is drama…?

"i kinda feel like nevin and klesko were some fling we (the padres) had in the past and now realize were a bad idea and are embarrassed about."

by freelunch on Aug 25, 2008 4:34 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

America’s Worst Cities To Be A Sports Fan

I feel stupider having posted this article on America’s Worst Cities To Be A Sports Fan, but whatever…

Here’s a great quote regarding New York (#4):

second-highest prices in the country for teams that lose just over half their games, the Super Bowl champion Giants not withstanding

Seriously. Why would winning the Super Bowl count for anything?

"When the going gets tough... TheGrandHatching pops in later." -- WG

by TheGrandHatching on Aug 25, 2008 12:17 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Reverse psychology

works every time.

Score 2 for Dex and JBox. I wonder if the same method could have worked over at DS.

I heart teh method in the madness.

Chicks Dig the Bullpen. Last years'. This year's is meager.

by eastbaysd on Aug 25, 2008 3:59 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnn

thhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

reeeedddddddddd

Baseball was, is and always will be to me the best game in the world. -Babe Ruth

by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Aug 25, 2008 7:01 PM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Do it, Gentlemen.

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

by Axion on Aug 25, 2008 7:05 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Dex and Jbox both consider it "fashionable"

to put the thread up late nowadays

"...do hereby declare that I am not a member of the Human race (not an earthling) and in fact am an alien from another planet other than earth. I hope that this will prove to the person that is putting electric shocks to my head that I am an alien. I am declaring this so that I am not in any violation of any world or international laws of the earth as I am showing by this admission that I am in fact an alien."

by The Kipper on Aug 25, 2008 7:07 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

by Axion on Aug 25, 2008 7:14 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

the temps always ending up being way better

and then we have to move over to the actual thread

"...do hereby declare that I am not a member of the Human race (not an earthling) and in fact am an alien from another planet other than earth. I hope that this will prove to the person that is putting electric shocks to my head that I am an alien. I am declaring this so that I am not in any violation of any world or international laws of the earth as I am showing by this admission that I am in fact an alien."

by The Kipper on Aug 25, 2008 7:29 PM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

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