BALLS

Professor Maddux lectures the Phillies in a gem while Moyer prances through the Padre lineup like so much springtime meadow. Padres fail to score runs. Needlebutt's mark remains.

Talk about getting your language hammered out. Padres sign Dykstra with literally minutes to spare. It was dramatic, in the theater of the mind: Picture Bud Selig himself looking on as Paul DePodesta and Allan Dykstra stared each other off for hours on end, each's right hand twitching like that of a gunslinger's in a Wild West film. A tumbleweed tumbles in the background. A single drop of sweat gathers and starts to run down DePo's brow. Dykstra reaches his hand out. DePo reaches to meet. DYKSTRA DOESN'T PSYCHE! THE CROWD GOES WILD! $1.15 mil.

Poor Kooz.. -.198

Optimist Island: The bullpen held its own, The Sauce came up huge, and defense was good. These are positive developments.

Pessimist Peninsula: The Friar is hopeless against lefties. Leave the "vs. righties" lineup out there, already. Wally Joyner is away with a family medical issue.

Nobody beats the SportingNews when it comes to getting Up Close and Personal with Mr. Padre, Tony Gwynn.

In Strasburg news, Washington still leads and Team U.S.A. narrowly avoided elimination by the medal-less Canadians.

Reineke has been called up to start tonight's game. He will be stepping in to CY's spot in the rotation, facing off against Kyle Kendrick at 7:05 PM. Go Padres!