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Dex and Jon in STL

So, Dex and Jon rolled into St Louis yesterday afternoon and were fortunate enough to have very good weather. Normally, it's 95+ with unbearable humidty.  Yesterday was in the mid 80s.  Good thing too, since we were outside quite a bit.

Anyway, they call me from a few miles out of town and are getting directions to my house.  I quickly realize a difference in the way West Coasters talk about highways (freeways) as they all put a "The" in front of the number.  We don't do that in the midwest, so it was strange hearing Dex say, "So, we take THE 255, to THE 55".

Once they pull into my subdivision, we have to figure out how to get the truck turned around. It's a large moving truck, towing a car behind it and they can't back up.  Luckily, we have a full circle at the end of the street, so they just decide to drive down and turn around.  Well, it takes longer than expected, so I hop on my bike and ride down to the end of the street.  Turns out, they couldn't quite make the turn because of a car parked on the street.  Jon and Dex knocked on the guy's door, but he refused to answer.  Another neighbor came out and told us that the guy is a "real S.O.B." and was probably enjoying the situation. 

Dex decides to take the car off the trailer, to allow us to manuever the truck.  It takes a bit of time, but it does the trick and we quickly get the truck parked in front of my house...now, we're just all a little sweaty.  We go inside and I introduce my new baby girl to the Gaslampers.  Unfortunately, she just got her first vaccinations that morning, so she was a little cranky.  Still, Dex and Jon seemed to have a good time.

After a bit of hanging out, a friend of mine joined us and we headed downtown to take the Budweiser brewery tour.  Turns out Jon likes to brew his own beer, so we figured he'd be able to get some fine tips on the tour.  During the tour, I get a call from my wife because the baby is crying, won't eat and has a red, swollen leg from the shot. I can barely hear her over the crying/screaming.  I feel really guilty for having fun while she's dealing with the baby.  I place a call to the doctor, mid tour, and await a response.  When I get it, I try to talk really quietly, but I still get lots of dirty looks from the old women on the tour.

The tour showed us the famous Budweiser Clydesdales, their stables and all the steps in the brewing process.  Unfortunately, when we got to the step that described a "tea bagging" process, I couldn't hold in my laugher (I'm very immature sometimes)...and then Dex was laughing at my immaturity...and then we all felt like schmucks for laughing at such a juvenile thing during a serious tour.

After the tour, we drank some free beer in the tasting room.  Talked about how weird Jbox can be, how Dex's son is doing all sorts of cool "firsts" in SD without him,  and just hung out.  Dex went to the gift shop to buy some AB stuff, including a Clydesdale for his son (Stuffed, not real...the horse...not the son). 

Then we headed to one of the bars outside the stadium and had a burger and another beer.  This bar has a freight train that goes right over it and Jon was so amazed he had to get a picture.  We told him stories of how the conducter has been known to stop and have beers thrown up to him before heading out of town.

Finally get to the ballpark and we're touring all of the statues around the outside, including the ugliest statue ever (Stan the Man's weird, landmark statue), one of Jack Buck (Joe's dad) and Ozzie Smith.  Jon decides to put his SD hat on the Ozzie statue and get a quick pic.  Jon and Dex were so nervous that they were going to start some trouble by putting the hat on the statue...but no one seemed to mind.

Once we got in the stadium, we walked around to get some pics and see the different views.  Walked by a Hardee's (midwest name for Carl's Jr.) and settled on a local item for dinner..the Bratzel...a brat wrapped and deep fried with a pretzel. 

Settled into our seats in the bleachers and enjoyed the game, until the Cardinals starter gave up too many runs.  To keep it interesting, my friend and I introduced Jon and Dex to "Dollar Bets". Basically, the more ridiculous the bet, the better.

"Next pitch, homerun...$1"

"I'll take it!"

"The ump will throw the ball to the left side of the pitcher's mound"

"I'll take it!"..."Me too"

Dex thought we were nuts. Jon wanted no part of it...until about three bets in, when he couldn't resist..."I'm IN!"....then Jon went on a run that certainly helped pay for his gas to Denver. 

Dex was still amazed with the bets and the odds presented.  Especially when my friend offered 3-1 odds and Jon said, "I'll take it, but I'll make it 4-1".  Dex's head just about exploded.

Either way, no one lost a ton and it made the game more exciting, as you could predict random events and then cheer/boo when they did or did not occur. 

We ended the night by going to the family area and testing our arm speeds on the radar gun.  Jon hit 58. Dex hit 56 and I capped out at 53. 

On the way home, we were treated to my friend's scientific theory on why certain farts stink and don't stink.  His explanation made no sense and I tried to tell him that if his diet was different, he wouldn't have any problem. He agreed that beer, bratzels and nachos probably weren't helping.

Dex and Jon left STL around 9:45 to head to Denver.  I hope they made it safely and I hope Dex decided against stopping to get a haircut...that would seriously ruin any chances of making 'good time'...although, it would be funny to picture Jon sitting in the waiting room, reading hair cutting magazines while Dex got a trim.

I'll send in pics soon.

 

This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball managers or SB Nation.

2 recs  |  Comment 6 comments

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Haha

I like the idea of Dex getting a haircut in some small Kansas town. Good stuff.

by jbox on Jul 2, 2008 9:53 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I just talked to them

they are in Arriba, CO. They’ve had 45 minutes of sleep in the last 14 hours, most of which was while they were driving.

by jbox on Jul 2, 2008 9:54 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

Wonder if they stopped for the haircut

They left STL about 14 hours ago. I’d have thought they’d be in Denver now.

But then again, Jon said the truck had a governor on it that prevented them from exceeding 72 mph. And since KS has no downhills, he can’t put it in neutral to coast.

They were considering a stop in Kansas City in the middle of the night, just so they could take a leak on Arrowhead Stadium. Maybe that slowed them down.

Oh, and they kept calling Jbox “Mother Hen”, since he was constantly checking in with them to make sure they were safe. Must be the guilt Jbox feels for not making the trip with them.

Jon’s company also switched cell phone plans on him while he’s been away, so he lost coverage some time during the game last night.

by thenerdhater on Jul 2, 2008 10:23 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

Thanks for the update

Can’t wait for the pic of Ozzie.

by Winfield's Ghost on Jul 2, 2008 10:19 AM PDT reply actions   0 recs

I'll try to get it up tonight

“that’s what she said”

When they were taking the pic, some guy comes by and says, “hey get that thing off of there”...in a real deep voice..but he was just trying to scare Dex and Jon. He was laughing when they jumped a little.

by thenerdhater on Jul 2, 2008 10:24 AM PDT up reply actions   0 recs

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