Wiggins has been depressed. The Braves spank the Padres. Khalil "Robot" Greene might get traded. Frankenfriar was a no-show at Saturday's game. Tony Gwynn looks like Grimace. It's all too much for Wiggins to handle.

When Wiggins gets depessed there's only one thing to do: Pizza pig-out a la Domino's.

So, Wiggins picked up his phone and dialed Domino's. "Wiggins would like 2 large pepperoni pizzas, please." Luckily, the staff at Domino's know Wiggins. "Sure, Mr. Wiggins. Right away, sir." Wiggins anxiously waited by the front door.

Ding dong!

Ah-ha, the moment had arrived. Wiggins opened the door and hastily pushed a $20 bill in the delivery guy's hand. "Keep the change!"

Wiggins rushed to the kitchen table and, hands being rung in excitement, popped open the box to find... WHAT THE HELL? Olives. Bleh.

Wiggins tried to catch the delivery guy before he sped off, but it was too late. He was long gone. Wiggins called the Domino's store to complain and they claimed he asked for two large pizzas with olives on them. "We've got it written right here, sir. Oliv--" Wiggins slammed down the phone before the vile word was complete.

Ugh, olives. Wiggins life is not worth living. WI8GHHGS HATE LIFES WIFGGHGNS GO D;LKE NOW BHYE TUPYDSTUPIDO LIFESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!