FanPost

Frankenfriar's dancing was below standards this evening

Wiggins was not at all impressed with the performance of the Frankenfrair this evening. At times Frankenfriar has been awesome. But tonight... whoa man. Wiggins also noticed that the grounds crew dancer was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps the grounds crew dancer and the person inside Frankenfriar are one in the same.

Wiggins did notice this: the person inside Frankenfriar seemed befuddled on how to quickly change configurations in order to make Frankenfriar go from jumping on its feel to its hands to its head. Just pitiful.

The next time Wiggins sneaks into Petco Park, he will be rather upset if Frankenfriar's performance isn't up to expectations. Wiggins didn't go to the ballgame to see Ichiro not get a hit, he didn't go to see Khalil make an embarassing spin/throw goof, he didn't go to see the Padres outfielders look like Keystone cops, he didn't go to see Baek load the bases in such a timely fashion that it was all said and done by the time Wiggins tied his shoe, and he CERTAINLY did not go to see the institution of Frankenfriarism dragged through the mud by a terrible performance by a Frankenfriar costume wearer/dancer.

Wiggins is considering writing an open letter to the Padres organization about the poor Frankenfriar performance, but he is afriad they will respond with: "Fine. You don't like the performance? Frankenfrair is now banned from the ball park, as are you." Wiggins was ordered to stop sending letters to the Padres organization long ago when he stated (and this is a censored excerpt from the letter that started the drama): "...Dravecky's amputated arm all the way up The Bip's..."

Look, Wiggins doesn't ask for much. A win would be nice, but with this team that's too much to ask. All Wiggins asks for is an inspired performance by whomever happens to be inside the Frankenfrair costume. Is that too much to ask here, people? Tell Wiggins. IS. THAT. TOO. MUCH. TO. ASK. ????????????????

This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball managers or SB Nation.

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