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Gaslamp Ball Proclamation: Gaslamp Ball officially believes the Padres will not be in the 2008 World Series

Gaslamp Ball will occasionally provide endorsements and judgments in the world of baseball and beyond. Should Gaslamp Ballers need to cast a vote or require an official opinion, look for Gaslamp Ball Proclamations first to see what our official stance is. Thank you.

After watching the Padres' start to the 2008 season, Gaslamp Ball now officially believes that the team will not contend for the National League Championship and will therefore not be in the 2008 World Series. Gaslamp Ball is not saying that participation in the 2008 World Series is an impossibility, but rather that it is wildly improbable, and on par with the probability of monkeys suddenly flying out of our butts.

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Maybe, if we really believe

The Padres can make it to the post season. Oh, and Tinkerbelle will be okay.
Then again, maybe we can aspire to third place like the Brewers in Mr. 3000.

A bat, a bat, my kingdom for a bat! - Jake Peavy (loosely translated)

by Boilermaker19 on May 7, 2008 9:21 PM PDT reply reply   0 recs

MMMmmm

Flying butt monkeys…

Me fail English? That's unpossible!

by sdsuaztec4 on May 7, 2008 9:51 PM PDT reply reply   0 recs

Gaslamp Ball is not saying that participation in the 2008 World Series is an impossibility, but rather that it is wildly improbable, and on par with the probability of Paul McAnulty losing the mantits.

Did the lungfish refuse to breathe air? It did not.

It crept forth boldly while its brethren remained in the blackest ocean abyss, with lidless eyes forever staring at the dark, ignorant and doomed despite their eternal vigilance.

by overand on May 8, 2008 1:17 AM PDT reply reply   0 recs

Not just

funnier than flying butt monkeys but evokes far less puckering, despite conjuring an image still relatively uneasy on the eyes.

"We've... we've got lumps of it 'round the back."

by ABY on May 8, 2008 1:53 AM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

I love the way

Gaslamp Ball takes edgy, contrarian stances on important issues.

by Winfield's Ghost on May 8, 2008 6:08 AM PDT reply reply   0 recs

We're rebels and a little bit crazy

“Padres won’t make the world series? WTF are they thinking

by Dex on May 8, 2008 6:20 AM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Watch it!

That limb you went a mile out on, it looks like it may break! /sarc

The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.

by Axion on May 8, 2008 8:32 AM PDT reply reply   0 recs

Now, if we could just hook up into an improbability drive

Then Edmonds and Hairston would become great defensive fielders with fantastic offensive production. Or, a sperm whale and a pot of petunias.
As it is, the Padres currently are something almost, but not quite, completely unlike a baseball team.

A bat, a bat, my kingdom for a bat! - Jake Peavy (loosely translated)

by Boilermaker19 on May 8, 2008 8:38 AM PDT reply reply   1 recs

What I find cool

is that the Padres are getting all of their losses out of the way early. According to my calculations, the Padres have about one more week of losing, then it is a winning streak from now til the World Series. I think it is very considerate of them. They allowed me to watch hockey and not have to worry about missing good baseball. Now that hockey is over (for me. I’m a Sharks fan) I can now focus on the glorious non-stop winning streak of the Padres. I just figure that the Padres saw how losing games up front worked for the Rockies last year and figured they would give it a try. This is the kind of bold strategy that has made me come to really like Bud Black this season. Is Bud crazy? Crazy like a fox I say. Someone get that guy a contract extension.

by sacpadre on May 8, 2008 8:40 AM PDT reply reply   0 recs

maybe..just maybe

we can pull off an Angels in the Outfield
someone pray for a pennant win!

"I get tired of hearing ballplayers belly-ache all the time. They should sit in the press box sometime and watch themselves play."

by iLOVEkouz5 on May 8, 2008 11:13 AM PDT reply reply   0 recs

Need moar orphans.

The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.

by Axion on May 9, 2008 9:03 AM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Solution

I think Wiggins is about to become an Orphan….His mom should just leave him at PETCO.

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra

by Sammy G on May 9, 2008 9:59 AM PDT to parent up reply reply   0 recs

Easier time walking on water....

The Padres would have an easier time pulling off this miracle than having anything close to a winning season. Is it too late to get Bochy back? Then again it’s not like SF is doing all that great either. Welcome to sports in San Diego.

by Shady086 on May 10, 2008 9:25 PM PDT reply reply   0 recs


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