Season got you down?  Have you realized that the team you have invested so much time following through the past years, reading updates from the owner’s meeting, debating at length is free agent X will put the Padres in the World Series, spring training trips, etc. are all culminating in a possible 100 L’s season?  Do you not want to be a bandwagon fan and just stop watching Padres games with friends and family just because of a rough patch?

Well I got the thing for you.  It is the 2008 Padres Drinking Game.

(Disclaimer, SammyG does not condone drinking, binge drinking or abusing alcohol.  Before participating in the game, make sure you seek medical consultation, spiritual consultation and invite that one wet bag to the party that is always saying stuff like “Why do you guys drink so much?’ and “I don’t think this is a good idea”.)

What you need. 

1)      A lot of your favorite beverage. For the beginners I recommend a very light beer like Coors Light, or maybe even O’Doul’s.  Do not attempt this with hard alcohol! (If you like mix drinks, make a big vat of them Dodger style).

2)      Several Drinking Buddies.

3)      Shot glasses for each participant plus a few extras

4)      One person who is not drinking and knows a few emergency medical procedures

5)      Trash Bags

6)      Mayonnaise, Tabasco, Orange Juice, Cheap Gin all mixed up and ready to go. (We will call this a Fisherman’s Hawker)

7)      A referee.

What you don’t need.

1)      Score Book

2)      Your dignity

Rules: For each point (outlined bellowed), each contestant will take a shot of his/her beverage. You must complete your drink(s) before the next pitch is delivered.  Once you vomit, you are disqualified, unless the group is playing “George Foreman Rules” were sandbagged points are awarded for each comeback after vomiting.

Points:

• 1 point, for a Padre Batter Striking out on 3 pitches (1 additional point if it was the same pitch all three times)
• 2 points for each GIDP by the Padres
• 1 point for each infield fly by a Padre (1 additional bonus point for each padre runner on base)
• 3 points for any inning where the padres get at least 3 hits and fail to score.
• 5 points for any obvious blown call (non-balls and strike) that the Padres manager does not argue (10 bonus points if the manager then argues a pointless play later in the game).
• 5th inning Bonus: If at the end of the 5th inning the Padres have given up 1 earn or less and are not winning (tied or losing), then its 5 bonus points
• 2 points for each Padre runner stranded at 3rd with less than 2 outs
• 1 point for each Padre runner stranded at 2nd with less than 2 outs and is not advanced to third.
• 1 point for each base allowed stolen base
• 1 point for every AB by the latest waiver claim/or 1 point for each batter face by the latest waiver claim.
• 5 bonus points for anytime after the 5th inning in a game less than 1 run, and Buddy Black brings in a reliever not named Heath or Cla.
• 7th inning Bonus: If at the end of the 7th inning the Padres have given up 1 earn or less and are not winning (tied or losing), then its 5 bonus points
• Game Bonus; 10 Points if the opposing starting pitcher sets a career high in K’s
• Fisherman’s Hawker rule.  If it’s a 1 run game entering the 9th and the Padres are winning, turn off TV and drink the Fisherman’s Hawker.

How a winner is determined: WE ARE ALL WINNERS!!!