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Around SBN: Ellenberger vs. Sanchez Heats Up, Hughes Talks Retirement

A radical idea that could make Mark Prior great again: cut off his arm!

Mark Prior, as you know, has been plagued by arm and shoulder injuries for a couple years now.  He's had surgery and he's been rehabbing forever.  The problem is that the Padres only have him for one year and we're running out of time and we need him in our rotation.

Cubs fans tried to warn us but we wouldn't listen, well, because they are Cubs fans and nobody listens to them.

My idea is this:  We amputate his arm at the shoulder.

Star-divide

You heard me right.  We cut that sucker off, it's damaged goods.  This is where the genius part comes, we then sprinkle this crazy pixie dust on the open wound.  If he doesn't bleed to death, we might have a chance of growing him a new arm.

How good of an idea is that?  I know, right?  The fans would love it too, you could put up little pictures of his arm growing back on the Padres website.  I hope it starts off like a little baby arm too.  Those pictures of grown ass man Prior, with baby arm doing curls of like 2 lbs would be enough to take the focus off of steroids, Clemens' affairs and all other issues that ail Major League Baseball.

Oh man, imagine how good Mark Prior would be with a brand new arm.  Cubs fans would be so jealous and hate us so much.  I'm delighted just thinking about it.  It's a win-win!

Let's just do it and not over think this.  We don't need all the front office brains to get involved, let's just make this happen.  We'll deal with the consequences later.

Go Padres!

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via img.dailymail.co.uk


 

 

 

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Did we really

expect anything from Prior. I just always thought it was a “cheap” gamble, that could potentially pay big dividends. The Prior gamble doesn’t bug me as much as the Edmonds one.

by sacpadre on May 1, 2008 11:33 AM PDT reply actions  

"Just ask this scientician."

“Uh…”

"When the going gets tough... TheGrandHatching pops in later." -- WG

by TheGrandHatching on May 1, 2008 11:34 AM PDT reply actions  

that picture

is quite disturbing

"eww it smells like giants fans in here. and ur fricken wearing a boston cap. fricken slut"
--random elevator guy

by iLOVEkouz5 on May 1, 2008 11:47 AM PDT reply actions  

Not kosher.

The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.

by Axion on May 1, 2008 1:42 PM PDT reply actions  

better yet

just use some stem cells.

by pjbno4 on May 1, 2008 1:51 PM PDT reply actions  

are you kidding?

Pigs bladder + Pixie dust > Stem cells

by Dex on May 1, 2008 1:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

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