Three weeks into the season, I find myself getting more and more frustrated with the blog production of gaslampball.com. I think now is a good time to take a hard look at their career in a Padres uniform.
Batting Average: Over the last few games we have seen wrong lineups posted, we have seen plain no-shows (due to "techinical difficulties"...aka Outfit Shopping I am sure"), and just plain lack of hustle as evidenced by things such as "Padres are rad, blah blah blah they'll beat the Astros blah blah blah. [Insert Amazing statistical evidence here]". Please.
Decline: Look at the evidence I just gave you. What's scary is that GLB isn't improving every season...they are actually getting worse with each season. Does the blame lay with the "coaching staff" or GLB itself?
Power: The managements reluctance to bring in some heavy hitting interviews around here is really starting to cost the team. The lack of interviews with guys such as Clay "Ratfink" Hensley, and Claw Meredith I believe has directly lead to our loss of the 18YOGP. There feeble attempts to "reclassify them all as gaslamp ball girl posse" just shows where management stands. They don't even bother to hide the fact that it's just so they don't have to produce more styles of t shirts. It doesn't change the fact that the GLBGP just isn't showing up to the games.
Petco Park: GLB is awful at home. They do things like insult awesome human individuals like Jayson Werth, kiss PSAs butt for free water (yet no hard hitting interview), and refuse to sign autographs for anyone. Then their groundscrew is busy cleaning up the Open Threads as soon as the game is over.
Curt Schilling?!?! Exactly
Injuries: I hate to even bring it up again...but it's impossible to ignore. GLB has only played in 121 games in each of the last two seasons. Which leaves us with a sdsuaztec4-type player starting the other 40 or so Open Threads. Can they withstand a full season in the majors? Are they capable of giving us 150 games or more?
FrequentGLBers Program What happened to the loyalty program? Where are my GLBbux? Where are the tshirts? Obviously they don't care about the fans. Next they will announce that it will cost $10 to be able to make posts each season.
Lack of Respect Broken Jake bobblehead. Need I say more? And they keep letting that cat show up around here.
Also, what's with the lack of appearances by the Rally Unicorn? Why do they refuse to let the up and coming stars play, yet keep giving at bats to washed up veterans? Maybe we should trade them while we have a chance, before the rest of SB*Nation figures out that they are a bust. We can probably get something of value for them still. If we get a reasonable offer before the trade deadline, are they gone?