This site is providing funny and unique ways to harass players from specific teams. The writer is definitely trying for something other than the typical, "You suck" taunt. He's looking to get under the skin of these players.
The link has more teams than just the Cubs, but I thought I'd start with the Cubs since they are so hated by Gaslamp (and most of the rest of baseball)
Pie, Felix - Relate to the young outfielder that the common phrase "easy as pie" comes from his heritage, specifically his mother, who was a slut.
Fukudome, Kosuke - Stay away from the whole "last name looks like f@!# you" nonsense -- there'll be plenty of frat guys in the bleachers going that route -- and instead remind Fukudome of the many, many, many family members he left back in Japan, most of which he'll never see again.