We're Gonna Have Fun, Dammit!!!

by Winfield's Ghost on Oct 7, 2008 7:32 AM PDT Comment 44 comments

It seems like forever since we've had any fun around here. We lost 100 games*. We finished in last place. The Dodgers won the NL West. We kept our manager. Our hitting coach turned out to be a quitter/rogue agent. John and Becky can't get along. The organization wants their two dollars from Lane Khalil. And, as a result, there's been nothing to get excited over, nothing to have a little fun with.

Dex and jbox lamented last season that GLB was better when the Padres sucked because then nobody would take anything serious and we'd all have a lot more fun.** Hey, guess what? That didn't happen this season. We all turned into a bunch of sour, moping whiners.

So I know the season is over - as is next season - but, dammit, we're gonna have fun today.

Here's your challenge: create a caption to go with the photo down below. To the winner, I will donate my year's salary that Dex and jbox graciously pay me for doing SLPiH. (I got a raise this yr, so, seriously - this is a good deal.)

Have fun, you sour, moping whiners.

*99 is pretty much the same as 100 and 100 sounds better/worse.

**paraphrasing - too lazy to look up actual post.

This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball managers or SB Nation.

4 recs | Comment 44 comments

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Jesus Lopez

Is that Jayson Werth? Cuz if it is….it’s going to change this competition dramatically.

by Drama on Oct 7, 2008 8:19 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Werth . . . or Hamels

If not for the goggles, it would be easy to tell Werth’s psychopath eyes, but both Werth and Hamels are tall, lanky, and have goofy mop tops.

No wonder nobody likes you, Tuttle... everything's a (Pujols) damn debate.

by royhobbs on Oct 7, 2008 8:27 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

… but then again the file name is “werth.jpg.” Dur.

No wonder nobody likes you, Tuttle... everything's a (Pujols) damn debate.

by royhobbs on Oct 7, 2008 8:27 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah...apparently I missed that too.

by Drama on Oct 7, 2008 8:28 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

It is Mr. Werth

by Winfield's Ghost on Oct 7, 2008 8:31 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

This is tough...

I really can’t think of anything that won’t get me banned.

by Drama on Oct 7, 2008 8:30 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

"...And you should see my helmet. It's even funnier."

I’m getting a lot of mileage out of this thing!
Yeah, yeah, twss…

Thank goodness that's over!

by ABY on Oct 7, 2008 8:30 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Having fun.

You know, it’s not out of the relm of possibility that the Nats and Mariners skip over teh Strasburg.

People the world over have always been more impressed by the power of our example than by the example of our power.

by sdsuaztec4 on Oct 7, 2008 8:41 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

*realm

People the world over have always been more impressed by the power of our example than by the example of our power.

by sdsuaztec4 on Oct 7, 2008 8:41 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I should've mentioned one rule

Jayson Werth’s dad is ineligible for this contest.

by Winfield's Ghost on Oct 7, 2008 8:45 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

“This champagne that is surreptitiously dissolving my awesome soul patch tastes a lot like Nair…”

No wonder nobody likes you, Tuttle... everything's a (Pujols) damn debate.

by royhobbs on Oct 7, 2008 8:50 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

"in order to prevent eye damage"

“please wear protective goggles when enjoying new, improved DOUCHE BODY SPRAY”

www.wellbelowthemendozaline.blogspot.com

by justdave on Oct 7, 2008 9:18 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

"I'm wearing goggles....."

“…..just in case someone shoots IT on my face AGAIN.”

"Wow. Sounds like someone didn’t get excepted.." - our beloved Tec

by jpleeg2 on Oct 7, 2008 9:34 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Where in the hell is TGH when you need him?

by Drama on Oct 7, 2008 9:35 AM PDT reply actions 4 recs

I can't tell

Is this a real question or your caption?

by Winfield's Ghost on Oct 7, 2008 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

It hasn't been rec'd once...so it's obviously a question.

by Drama on Oct 7, 2008 12:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

One day, Dex and jbox are going to take away the rec button since none of us know how to use it properly

by Winfield's Ghost on Oct 7, 2008 1:18 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

Agreed, but I'm going to rec it anyways

How about something like…

“Jayson Werth causes women in Philadelphia to fear for their safety as he practices Step One from Drama’s controversial new book How To Build Up An Immunity To Mace Spray.”

"When the going gets tough... TheGrandHatching pops in later." -- WG

by TheGrandHatching on Oct 7, 2008 1:50 PM PDT up reply actions 6 recs

I rec the hell out of stuff.

I rec way more than I comment these days. Big fan.

www.PadsAndEnds.blogspot.com
"jbox does not drink coffee, as it makes him clean house big time." ~Kev

by TheThirdGonzalez on Oct 7, 2008 7:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I rec therefore I am

Chicks Dig the Bullpen.

by eastbaysd on Oct 8, 2008 1:11 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

"Woo-hoo...

FINALLY, irrefutable proof – I was right and wonko was wrong! Ha-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa….!!!"

Thank goodness that's over!

by ABY on Oct 7, 2008 9:38 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I wonder why

It sprays me when I was trying to spray J-Rol? Is this why I ended up in the bullpen?

by TheAxManCometh on Oct 7, 2008 9:48 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

"Take That! John Bigbooty"

“It’s Bigbootay!”

If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly

by Boilermaker19 on Oct 7, 2008 10:21 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

"Thank God I'm not a Padre"

I am fairly certain that is the actual caption that went with that photo the first time it was published.

or, maybe it was “Thank God I’m not a Phillie”.

This season really sucked… :(

by Zen Blade on Oct 7, 2008 11:53 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Someone missed the point.

Capri. Denial. It's a sweet sweet place; come join me....

by Demoira on Oct 7, 2008 2:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

"HAY GUIZE

LOOK AT ME: I’M MICHAEL J. FOX."

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

by Axion on Oct 7, 2008 1:26 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs

oh man

thats amazing. i will rec this all the way to the bank and back again.

holy shit.

www.wellbelowthemendozaline.blogspot.com

by justdave on Oct 7, 2008 3:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Other famous Jayson Werth quotes:

“I mean, they lost both parents. That’s just careless.” – Jayson Werth on orphans

“I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn’t about white people.” – Jayson Werth on reality shows

“I’m not the kind of person who digs through things other people have thrown away.” – Jayson Werth on adoption

/satire

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

by Axion on Oct 7, 2008 2:16 PM PDT reply actions 4 recs

"Benefit on not playing....first one to the champagne"

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra

by Sammy G on Oct 7, 2008 3:13 PM PDT reply actions 4 recs

winner

by Drama on Oct 8, 2008 9:31 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

"Eaton said these used goggles wouldnt fog up!?!"

“Nope, still Werth-less.”

“Eaton said these used goggles would make my aim better.
Nope, still hosing myself.”

Chicks Dig the Bullpen.

by eastbaysd on Oct 7, 2008 5:49 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

This thread needs moar rec

You can help by UNLEASHING TEH FURY

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

by Axion on Oct 8, 2008 3:21 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

"Maybe these goggles will get me a date with Michael Phelps."

by 'Eaters on Oct 8, 2008 5:26 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

“After this, I’m going to call my stepdad who raised me and whose last name I have while my sperm donor of a deadbeat dad googles my name and starts acting like the Randy Marsh of the internets on some Padres fans.”

www.PadsAndEnds.blogspot.com
"jbox does not drink coffee, as it makes him clean house big time." ~Kev

by TheThirdGonzalez on Oct 8, 2008 8:56 PM PDT reply actions 4 recs

ok so i really need the "werth's dad" story

because this is flying right over my head

www.wellbelowthemendozaline.blogspot.com

by justdave on Oct 8, 2008 9:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

WHOA NEVERMIND

i googled and found this link

holy balls of fury!!! this is amazing!!!

www.wellbelowthemendozaline.blogspot.com

by justdave on Oct 8, 2008 9:49 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

And....we have a winner!

by Winfield's Ghost on Oct 9, 2008 6:52 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I want moar

“Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it’s just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn’t sit well with me.” – Jayson Werth on abortion.

“No, I’m not sorry. If a hooker has to die for me to get an erection, then, shit, a hooker has to die.” – Jayson Werth on dating and relationships

“I’m not saying he deserved it, but Abraham Lincoln was pretty fugly.” – Jayson Werth on The 16th President

Isn't it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

by Axion on Oct 9, 2008 5:06 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs