FanPost

"Honey, I Shrunk The Payroll" Act 1, Scene1

February, 2008

(John Moores, sighing, picks up the telephone to make a call)

Sandy Alderson : "Sandy speaking. Why are you calling me? ...and make it quick."

John Moores : "...Sandy, it's..it's... me, John."

SA : "Oh, excuse me Mr. Moores. I'm terribly sorry. I didn't know that it was you on the phone. How can I help you, sir? "

JM : "It's...I, um...It's...Becky. She found a bottle of  Viagra... We haven't done it since 1979... She wants a divorce."

SA : "John, listen to me. Listen to me good. I am a legal genius, a high powered attorney, one of the best minds in the business of baseball, a graduate of one of the most prestigious universities in the country, a hard ass son of a bitch... a marine, a very, very handsome g..." (Moores interrupts)

JM : "Sandy. I know. We all know. You've told us a thousand times. I was just calling to tell you that, well, it's just that this could get ugly and I'm unclear as to what direction to go with the team."

SA : "John, why not sell 51% of your stake in the team? With your remaining 49% and of course, my 2%, we will retain control of the operations. Surely, this plan would make the most sense. Don't you agree John?"

JM : "I don't know Sandy. I just need some time to think."

SA : "Ok, John. In the meantime we'll decrease our expenditures while putting a mediocre product on the field and increase attendence at the park. I know exatly how we'll accomplish this. I don't have to look any further than my time spent with the Athletics!"

JM : "Great Sandy. I appreciate it. Just so you know, it doesn't make a difference to me if we win a title or not. Just keep us in the black."

SA : " I'll one up you John. I'll keep us in the black and at the same time convince our fans that we've got a shot at winning the division this year."

JM : "Thanks Sandy. Keep up the good work."

...To be continued...

This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball managers or SB Nation.

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