The Major League Baseball players' union is claiming it has found evidence that teams conspired to keep Barry Bonds out of the League in 2008.  

"There were numerous things that occurred that made me believe that the clubs were acting in concert," Bonds' agent, Jeff Borris, said on Thursday. "When I testify as a witness in the case, I will delineate each and every one of them."

After spending a lot of time during the first half of 2008 trying to get Bonds signed, Borris has stopped his efforts.

"I am convinced based on MLB's actions in 2008 that they will never let him wear a major league uniform ever again," he said.

The union has come to an agreement with the Commissioner's Office to delay the filing of the grievance.

"We have the agreement about the timing of a potential grievance," Weiner said. "Our investigation revealed a violation of the Basic Agreement. It's a violation of the Basic Agreement related to Barry Bonds and free agency."

Weiner cited Article XX (E)(1) of the collective bargaining agreement, which states: "Players shall not act in concert with other players and clubs shall not act in concert with other clubs."

Section (E)(2) further states that if two or more clubs are found to have acted together, "any injured Player (or Players) shall be entitled to recover in monetary damages three times the lost baseball income, he (or they) would have had but for the violation."

The reason this is significant for Padre fans is the money that could be involved in a potential fine. The last time these idiots tried to pull this it ended up costing them $280 million...and that was agreed to in 1990. But in that agreement...they also "agreed to a provision that future collusion would be subject to triple damages." You think that's coming out of the Padres payroll or Becky's alimony?

Also, in the course of investigating this claim you know the Padres are going to be the first franchise that they look at as a guilty party.

Investigator: "Get me a list of the 2008 Opening Day starting left fielders for every team in baseball."

Sexy Secretary: "Here you go."

Investigator: "Okay...let's see. Pat Burrell...Ethier...Carl Crawford...Adam Dunn...Soriano...Braun...JESUS LOPEZ!!!"

Sexy Secretary: "What is it?!?!"

Investigator: "What in the hell is a Paul McAnulty??"

Sexy Secretary: "Huh?"

Investigator: "Get John Moores on the phone. Now."

And...scene.