I really dislike Jayson Werth, but I'm a bigger fan of his dad's

by Dex on Jan 21, 2008 3:03 PM PST in News

This is absolutely amazing.

For the record, regulars know that my brother-in-law was mired in the dregs that is the Astros' minor leagues organization for years and years and hopefully he'll get a shot at the big leagues this year with the A's. If he does, I know he'll be a classy player for the A's and absolutely not act smug and entitled. He's missed weddings and births and birthdays and he misses 7 to 8 months out of the year away from most of his family. It's been fun and fascinating to watch his career. That being said, you have to read this:

Dear Dex (and blogger buddies),

I think YOU'RE the one that is probably gay, or at least homophobic! I KNOW you're a MORON. I think the only reason you dislike Jayson is because you're JEALOUS!! Why can't guys like you, and Ed Barnes, Rich and the Old Fart be jealous without showing it? He's talented, rich, and famous, and you envy that, don't you? My kids' a big leaguer, and you people are what, a nobody that doesn't have anything better to do than go to baseball games, show how (not)smart you are, then write this mindless crap on a blog, that show's up anytime googles Jayson? You think it's easy to be a pro baseball player? Do you have any idea how hard he's worked to get to where he's at, or how difficult it is to play baseball everyday with all the travel and being away from family all the time? How immature of you, I'm sure your family is proud of you and your embarrassing behavior at games, and I'm sure the people around you are real impressed. His name is spelled Jayson, because that is my middle name, and I'm proud to say he's my son, so you want to blame someone for the way he spells his name, blame me, not him. Secondly, he's new, but new IN THE BIG LEAGUE'S, and you think it's easy to play professional baseball, AND travel around the country and listen to all you drunk's crap all the time? Obviously, he showed you all up, so he actually got the better of you, didn't he? That's why the only thing left for you was to take it out on him on the internet, eh BIG MAN? I'm very proud of him, I'm sure you would be too if he was YOUR son, so I would prefer you just shut your big YAPPER, and enjoy the game like a real sports fan, and man. I'm sure you shit your pants on a regular basis, just like you'd do if you ever had to say any of this bullshit to his face, or mine for that matter. Pukes like you normally like to hide behind your mother's dress with your head stuck (I'm sure you still live at home, don't you?) Thankfully, Jayson's doing GREAT with the Phillies, and doesn't have to put up with you people as often. I applaud Mr. Dustin Downs for his comments, he gets it. As for the rest of you chumps, My suggestion to you is: GET A LIFE!

Submitted by:

Jeffrey Jay Gowan
Jayson's Dad

OMGWTF. So where to start? First off, I absolutely commend Jeffrey Jay Gowan for standing up for his son. I would do no less if somebody ripped on my son the way I ripped on Werth.

Second off, I knew those other commenters were Jayson's family. There was no other explanation.

Third, I will take this time to publicly apologize for making fun of Jayson's name. I mean, my name's Dexter. Who am I to be making fun of somebody else's name? So... Sorry bout that.

Fourth and most importantly, I totally understand where Jayson's smug, "look how great I am as I strike out three times" attitude came from. I mean, what's this?:

He's talented, rich, and famous, and you envy that, don't you?

Wow. I'm surprised he didn't mention Jayson's boyish good looks and huge penis.

I should probably be a bigger man, but this guy called me gay so I will mention that Jayson's stepdad played 4 major league seasons and Jeffrey Jay Gowan never made the show and is now living vicariously through Jayson. I have not, to this date, received a comment from Jayson's stepdad.

In conclusion, if Jayson doesn't want some blog post written 3 years ago to be one of the first things that comes up when people Google his name, then he probably shouldn't act like a jerkface to opposing teams' fans. And if he really wants to be a big leaguer, he and his family are gonna have to develop some skin. I mean, really. Who am I? Oh.. I'm the guy that got Jayson Werth's dad's panties in a bunch.

Update [2008-1-22 9:17:22 by Dex]: For WG:

Tweet Comment 21 comments | 3 recs |

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Comments

This is seriously awesome

Let's see what we've learned here:

"...and listen to all you drunk's crap all the time..."

Jeffrey Jay has tremendous language skills.

"...I would prefer you just shut your big YAPPER..."

Jeffrey Jay might be related to Matt Foley. (I really pictured this whole tirade as if Matt Foley was doing it in my living room. Awesome.)

"...Pukes like you normally like to hide behind your mother's dress..."

Jeffrey Jay is probably misogynistic.

"...GET A LIFE!..."

Jeffrey Jay is unfamiliar with irony.

If Jeffrey Jay's middle name was, say, Bob - would he have called Jayson Bobson?

Well done, Dex. Well done.

by Winfield's Ghost on Jan 21, 2008 3:21 PM PST reply actions

Matt Foley

I just re-read it while imagining Matt Foley saying it. You're right. AWESOME.

I bet Jeffrey Jay really does live in a van down by the river.

You must defeat my dragon punch to stand a chance.

by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Jan 21, 2008 4:08 PM PST up reply actions

Werth's Dad

We might be too hard on Gowan. It's gotta suck when your son takes the last name of his step dad. This bonafide big leaguer Dennis Werth character strolls into your life and takes your wife, renames your son and has the class not to troll blogs. The only connection you have is a weird way of spelling Jayson.

Most other guys use the internet to find naked chicks, but he has to google his son to get a boner.

by jbox on Jan 21, 2008 3:28 PM PST reply actions

He's lucky

Jayson could've changed his name to Dennisson.

by Winfield's Ghost on Jan 21, 2008 3:33 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs

He does have a point

if it wasn't for this blog, someone might google his name and find out how bad of a baseball he is. I think the Phillies GM probably did google his name, saw how much hatred for him there is and thought "Arod has a lot of hatred towards him, so J-A-Y-S-O-N must be great, throw an extram million into that contract."

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra

by Sammy G on Jan 21, 2008 3:42 PM PST up reply actions

Dear Dex (and blogger buddies),

All you [explitive deleted] are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna [explitive deleted] your mothers while you watch and cry like little [explitive deleted]. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax [explitive deleted] who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our [explitive deleted], then [explitive deleted] out our [explitive deleted], then eat their [explitive deleted] which is made up of our [explitive deleted] that we made 'em eat. Then all you [explitive deleted] are next.

Love,
Jeffrey Jay Gowan

This is just the tip of the suck iceberg.

by TheGrandHatching on Jan 21, 2008 4:09 PM PST reply actions

Always Good

to see a Kevin Smith reference at GLB.

by Phantom on Jan 21, 2008 4:55 PM PST up reply actions

TheGrandHatching...

...in mid-season form. Love it.

by Drama on Jan 22, 2008 9:46 AM PST up reply actions

I'm just glad

that he used ALL CAPS at certain points, because otherwise, how would we know that he MEANS BUSINESS!

PS - This makes me think Werth is more of a FAG....plus, who spells it WERTH? it's wOrth...jackass has both of his names spelled wrong.

And what's up with an adult calling himself Jeffrey Jay? At some point, a dude has to drop the "ie" or "y" and the middle name if he wants some respect.

Be a man..call yourself Jeff. Jeffrey Jay is so trailer trash.

by thenerdhater on Jan 21, 2008 4:34 PM PST reply actions

Jay

The only other adult I can think of is Homer Jay Simpson.

You must defeat my dragon punch to stand a chance.

by Sam (sdsuaztec4) on Jan 21, 2008 7:04 PM PST up reply actions

Good news

if you Google 'Jeffrey Jay Gowan' the first link that pops up is this Gaslamp post.

Way to go daddy-o! You finally have something in common with your more talented son.

by thenerdhater on Jan 21, 2008 4:35 PM PST reply actions

Made wikipedia

thanks Jason Worth's dad! You added some GREAT info to his Wiki page!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jayson_Werth

And since you seem to be new to this whole Internet thing...a Wiki is where lots of people go to find out about people. You'll probably find your name if you search for DB.

by thenerdhater on Jan 21, 2008 5:01 PM PST reply actions

Hilarious

cracks me up.

by jbox on Jan 21, 2008 5:12 PM PST up reply actions

This whole thing is hilarious.

Too bad we have to wait until August 15th for the Phillies to come to town... of course he'll probably already be DFA'd by then.

www.PadsAndEnds.blogspot.com
"jbox does not drink coffee, as it makes him clean house big time." ~Kev

by TheThirdGonzalez on Jan 21, 2008 6:54 PM PST reply actions

Picture

Nothing can ruin my day now. Fantastic.

by Winfield's Ghost on Jan 22, 2008 7:35 AM PST reply actions

I'm surprising nobody has mentioned...

that this guy is talking about people googling his son.

That's gross.

by pjbno4 on Jan 22, 2008 7:35 AM PST reply actions

Kudos

eh BIG MAN?

by Billy Almon on Jan 22, 2008 8:10 AM PST reply actions

Gay homophobe

I guess that makes you the Uncle Ruckus of the gay community...

www.PadsAndEnds.blogspot.com
"jbox does not drink coffee, as it makes him clean house big time." ~Kev

by TheThirdGonzalez on Jan 22, 2008 9:23 AM PST reply actions

I am going to say...

that from reading his letter and your post that you probably deserved this. No offense meant.
vr, Xei

by Xeifrank on Jan 22, 2008 10:44 AM PST reply actions

is this really real?

Come on Dex, are we so bored for hot stove news that we are making phony panty-wad rants by relatives of obscure players?

And by obscure, I mean: potential LF candidate for the Padres. Ok, maybe not this year. Hey Werth is actually a decent player, too bad he has to play 81 home games in the cess-pool known as Philadelphia.

Ever been to Citizens Bank Park? I have. It's a nice seating bowl very similar to PETCO (both debuted in the 2004 season) but the major difference is: Philadelphia. They stuck it in the same wasted land as the Vet' and the FUC (First Union Center? probaby renamed since). I mean, didn't Camden Yards teach city planners to move the ballparks back into the cities? The downtown explosion?

Relax, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic.

by TheRevRun on Jan 22, 2008 2:31 PM PST reply actions

I went the Citizens Bank Park

Twice in 2006. The second game was vs. the Padres and Peavy was pitching. We had a 3-1 lead in the 8th inning and the Phils, in a gritty effort, chase Peavy from the game and get 2 runs of Linebrink to tie it up 3-3, but because Burrell flew out to end the inning the booed. I just don't get Philly Phans. Maybe I'm just biased cuz a 2 run comeback in the 8th is HUGE at Petco, but still. Anyway we got a Vulcan 3 run shot to go ahead in the 9th anyway so screw those guys (There was also a Peavy HR earlier which barely cleared the bandbox, haha!).

by Wonko on Jan 22, 2008 3:27 PM PST up reply actions