FanPost

Dodgers hat

Wiggins hates the Dodgers.

Last month Wiggins saw an old man with a walker trying to cross the street. This scene was taking place in University Heights near a busy intersection.

Being the good chap that he is, Wiggins walked over to assist the elderly gentlemen WHEN IT HAPPENED. What should Wiggins see before him but an old geezer with a Los Angeles Dodgers cap. Wiggins gave him the benefit of the doubt.

"So, grandpa, you're not really a Dodgers fan, are you?"

"Of course I am! The Dodgers are the best team in baseball."

Wiggins couldn't stand it. He flipped the old coot's hat off his head then pushed him to the ground. Then Wiggins mockingly wore the Dodgers hat and began parading around with the walker, mocking the old fellow.

"Look everyone! Grandpa loves the Dodgers! Grandpa loves the Dodgers!"

One problem here... a Dodgers hat had touched Wiggins' head. Wiggins screamed in horror, threw the hat at the old man who was still laying in a pile on the sidewalk while yelling "PADRES FOREVER!", then ran home to take a shower.

Unfortunately, Wiggins' mother was in the shower. Wiggins knocked on the bathroom door and pleaded with her to hurry up and let him in so he could wash the Dodgers Poison off his head. She pretended not to hear Wiggins. Wiggins knocked again harder and yelled louder. Finally Wiggins' mom opened the bathroom door, thinking there was some emergency. Wiggins is ashamed to admit it, but the sight of his soapy, dripping mother gave him all kinds of mixed feelings. Feelings that a shower could not wash away.

Wiggins then decided it was time to hit the road. Wiggins has been out of town, here and there, trying to avoid San Diego and the vision of his mother that is forever etched into his corneas.

All of this because that old man had to wear a Dodgers cap?! They can ban smoking all over San Diego County but they allow people to wear freaking Dodgers caps. The damn Dodgers!!

Wiggins is not happy. Wiggins don like to se his mom naeked!!! WIGGIN HAT GET IT OTU OF WIGINS HEAD WIGGINS WANTT DIE NOEW!!!!!!!!1 WIGGIINS HATE2S LIFFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball managers or SB Nation.

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