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A Cheapskate's Guide to a Padres Game

  1.  Never pay for parking.  Bum a ride from a friend or park about 10 blocks away in free street parking.  If you must spend money take the trolley, but already you're acting like you're some sort of Oil Tycoon with your fancy trolley ticket and your flashy ride.
  2.  Never buy a ticket the day of a game, they throw on extra charges to try and make people buy early.  Don't buy your ticket on the internet either, too many service charges.  Buy your $5 park in the park ticket early.  This $5 dollars should be the only money you should spend the entire night.  Keep in mind that buying the ticket early is key since they will stop selling park tickets at a certain point to try and force you to buy a more expensive ticket.  Not gonna happen!  Once you get inside the park either watch the game from the grass, find yourself an open seat or stake out a spot in the standing area.
  3.  So you want souvenirs?  You've got expensive taste, I hope you plan to marry rich.  You've got several options.  First you can make a homemade t-shirt which is always a smart move.  Second you can plan ahead and make sure you visit the park on a give away night and get a free replica jersey or something.  Another smart option is to sign up for the Compadres Club, which is a free club where members include other deadbeats like yourself.  The good news is that you win prizes practically every other game for the first ten games.  If you still haven't found the perfect souvenir, it's time to dig through the trash to find a souvenir cup that someone has thrown out.  People are very wasteful, you'd be surprised the kind of loot that you'll be able to find in the trash or underneath seats. Now if you still have come up empty handed, it's time to beg the Pad Squad for a foam ball. They love it when you beg them for souvenirs. They may pretend like they are getting annoyed at an adult begging for a child's toy, but in fact, it makes them feel popular.
  4.  Let me get this straight, you want to buy a Program?  Well forget it.  Look at the scoreboard for batting line up and a few quick fun facts.   Lookin' is free.  If you want to keep score and think you need a Program for a Score Card, well you're wrong again.  Keep score on the back of your ticket, or ask for an extra paper plate from a vendor.
  5.  Hungry?  Yeah I thought you might be.  But you forgot to bring your own food.  Too bad, you're not getting one of those extravagant hot dogs.  Fortunately for you I've come up with a few recipes for you.

    Spicy Tomato Soup
    Ask for a cup of hot water from a vendor that sells coffee.  Go to the condiments station and squirt the appropriate amount of ketchup into the hot water.  The amount will vary depending on how hungry you are.  Use a plastic spoon to mix your tomato soup.  Then go to a vendor that sells pizza and ask for extra red pepper packets.  Mix red pepper into tomato soup and enjoy.

    Jalepeno Handshakes
    Once again visit the condiment stands and fill your left hand with free Jalepenos.  Dab a squirt of mustard on each Jalepeno and then lightly sprinkle chopped onions on top.  Pop them into your mouth until you are full or violently ill.

0 recs | Comment 28 comments

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must be.
an off day.

by pjbno4 on Jun 11, 2007 12:48 PM PDT   0 recs

Nice job, jbox...
Off days following a sweep at home are the worst...good stuff.

by Drama on Jun 11, 2007 12:56 PM PDT   0 recs

what about
going with a friend and having him leave (get hand stamped) and then rub the stamp on your hand, that way you only pay 2.50 each for that ticket. i dont know if they do the hand stamp anymore, so this plan  could not work out..but theres always ways to sneak in or scam them somehow...
threepeat?(never thought id be able to say that about the padres!)

by Peavyforprez08 on Jun 11, 2007 12:57 PM PDT   0 recs

This is good thinking
I was trying to do everything legal though, that was my only rule.  I think they still do stamps though.

by jbox on Jun 11, 2007 12:59 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Find a friendly
vendor...give them a large tip when you buy your first beer/soda....then bring the cup back.  They'll usually fill the 2nd one for free!

Or, if they have a program, join a volunteer group that's fundraising by working at the ball game.  No one ever questions a volunteer's work ethic, so sign up and watch the game in between chipping in at the food stand.

by thenerdhater on Jun 11, 2007 1:43 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

One out of two
While the soup nearly made me yak, the Jalapeno Handshakes actually sound kinda good.

by Winfield's Ghost on Jun 11, 2007 1:06 PM PDT   0 recs

HIt .175 and leave a lot of men on base
then you can get an amazing free seat in the dugout.  Not to mention; free food, free massages, free shirts...

by planetjeffy on Jun 11, 2007 1:49 PM PDT   0 recs

What not to do...
Here's what NOT to do if you want to save money...

Buy a park pass for only $5 dollars then go up to the bar/restaurant on the Western Metal Supply Company Building and sign up for innings 3 through 9 on the balcony.  

Here's why...

It is completely and utterly frustrating to be sitting in a bar for the first 3 innings watching the game on tv with no sound when it is happening right behind you.  You have no alternative, order a drink.  Once you get outside it's brilliant and you have waitress service, so they keep bringing you more drinks.  Then the game goes into extra innings so you order another drink.  Then you lose, now you need a drink, but they won't serve you any more so you take a taxi (coz you bummed a ride remember!) to your local bar where you have several drinks.  The whiskey here is only $6 as opposed to $11 at the park so you order more...

Whilst the Jalepeno Handshakes did look like they might make me ill, I managed to get there all by myself, big and grown-up that I am.
Plus, I am sure I will be ill all over again once I have the courage to add up all my credit card receipts from the evening.

Remind me to go with you next time jbox...

by ABY on Jun 11, 2007 2:02 PM PDT   0 recs

Don't forget
to bring your own food. A bag of peanuts from the grocery store. A bottle of water. A hot dog wrapped in foil.  You just saved $100 right there.

by thenerdhater on Jun 11, 2007 2:48 PM PDT   0 recs

The real problem is the beer
As ABY pointed out, the drinks add up.  And I haven't figured out a way to fully enjoy the game without a beer or two (it just seems unamerican), and I'm really not much of a drinker!

by Demoira on Jun 11, 2007 3:30 PM PDT   0 recs

I've got an idea
fermented jalepeno juice.

by jbox on Jun 11, 2007 3:31 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Alcohol
If you lick the bottom of the urinals, you get quite a buzz.  A little more shrooms than beer, but a buzz nontheless.

Or so I've heard...

by Emcee Emmerson on Jun 11, 2007 4:22 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

YardHouse or The Field...
...before the game should do the trick...

by Geoff on Jun 11, 2007 5:50 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

best way to enjoy Padres baseball for free...
Call your dad. Say "Dad, we haven't been to a game together in ...days...Peavey is pitchin Thursday, want to go?"

Dad says "Sure, you go buy the tix and I'll pay for them."

"Wow, thanks Dad. See you Thursday."

Is that still ok to do when you are an adult?

by RBS on Jun 11, 2007 3:32 PM PDT   0 recs

Dads
yah thats what I always do. It helps when your dad has season tickets in Section 101.

by sdsuaztec4 on Jun 11, 2007 3:36 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Completely okay
And it's okay if he buys the beers so long as you make the beer run, too.

by Demoira on Jun 11, 2007 3:44 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

My Dad
lives in the UK and hates sports.  
Anee-bodee want to be my Dad-dee!!

by ABY on Jun 11, 2007 3:44 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

dads
my dad got one of those 9 pack deals and can't go alot so he lets me go with a friend, and he got good seats too

by pads44 on Jun 11, 2007 4:07 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Good post
Points one through three are pretty much my exact routine every time I go... the standing room areas on the lower level are right behind $48 seats in some areas!  Sure, my feet throb the whole night and I can't see the scoreboard, but what's a little pain for the Padres?

Other hazards of SRO include:

  1. Almost being puked on by Jim, the 55-year-old alcoholic who feels the need, every game, to check out the jailbait relentlessly and always manages to mention that Khalil can't be a good player because he is too passive due to being raised in the B'Hai faith.  After the LA comeback Jim actually did puke in the bushes outside the park.  Thankfully I witnessed this from afar.
  2. The "What're You Doing Guy", named for the question he inevitably asks after about five sidelong glances at my scorecard.  There are two subcategories to the "What're you doing" guy:
a. "Why Guy" - Can't understand why I would possibly be that much of a dork to keep score at a game

b. "Are You a Scout Guy" - Thinks scouts stand in the SRO areas... I guess in a covert operation?

  1. "Garlic Fry Guy" puts the spend no money mantra in grave danger.  They just smell soo.... good.......
  2. "Doesn't Understand the Compadres Scanner Kid" is guaranteed to make you almost miss the first pitch.  The scanner is pretty simple: hold the card with the barcode facing left and away from you; scan it; scan the ticket the same way.  This kid will hold it upside down, inside out, up and down, sideways, every way except the right way.  And mom will stand there.. and stand there.. and stand there until your head is ready to explode.  And the line is getting longer and longer.  And the anthem is playing and the game is starting. He may still be there right now scanning Sunday's ticket.  That's the thing about the Compadres Scanner Kid.  You just don't know.

by bmanuel on Jun 11, 2007 3:51 PM PDT   0 recs

Ballpark Chili
Randy Jones BBQ sauce
mix in a handful of chopped onions
mix in an equal amount of jalapenos
salt and pepper to taste

MMM MMM MMM

by sqrunt on Jun 11, 2007 6:29 PM PDT   0 recs

You could also
Buy a ticket for one game, find a dark corner to spend the night in and wait for the next game.

by thenerdhater on Jun 11, 2007 7:06 PM PDT   0 recs

You want alcohol in the game
check out these bad boys....I have a pair already.

http://www.reef.com/productdetail/guys/footwear/sandals/2597

by Ron Mexico on Jun 11, 2007 11:25 PM PDT   0 recs

for those that don't read the fine print
POLYURETHANE ENCAPSULATED CANTEEN IN HEEL WITH SCREW CAP.........its a freakin flask.  When I wear them, it get goosebumps....like christmas day when I was knee-high to a grasshoper.

by Ron Mexico on Jun 11, 2007 11:35 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

That's nothing!
Get one of these and then you can start talking

thebeerbelly.com

by matto619 on Jun 12, 2007 12:05 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Cool
If they ever catch on though, going to a padres game will be like flying AA.  I've seen flasks that look like cell phones too.

by ABY on Jun 12, 2007 7:43 AM PDT to parent up   0 recs

Jalapeno Handshake
Wiggins once got a "Jalapeno Handshake" from a chick in TJ. Best pesos Wiggins ever spent.
Wiggins: Voted "Creepiest Gaslamp Baller" by his fans.

by wiggins4ever on Jun 12, 2007 1:42 PM PDT   0 recs

wiggins....
<shaking head>
unbelievable

by RBS on Jun 12, 2007 3:21 PM PDT to parent up   0 recs

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