Three Wiggins posts in three days. Who would've guessed?

Well, fans o' Wiggins, this post is actually about hats, believe it or not. And the "trick" they supposedly do. That's right, Wiggins is talking about the new Padres hats with their tricky beige sides.

Bottom line: Even if they supposedly keep the Padres cooler, they look oh-so-tacky. For example, as if "Secret Pop" wasn't already silly enough looking as is, he's got to wear that dumb cap.

Wiggins' plan for success: Ditch the whole Sand & Sea motif. Go retro. The Pads look good in their throwback jerseys...it's time to bring back that Padre brown.

Also, on an unrelated note: Wiggins saw Ted Leitner at Seau's a few months ago. Longtime Wiggins fans will remember Ol' Teddy Boy and Wiggins were supposed to have a powwow last year but Tedmeister backed out. Wiggins asked the waiter to spit on Ted's meal in exchange for $20, but he refused. He said Leitner was "The Man." Wiggins went home and cried. He didn't have the guts to confront Leitner himself. Wiggins is a coward. Wiggins go cry now.

WHY DID YOU GIVE WIGGINS THIS LIFE GOD WHY? WHY? WIGGINS NEEDS A BEST FRIEND BUT DEX AND JBOX WON'T COME OVER AND WATCH DANCING WITH THE STARS WITH WIGGINS. WIGGINS HATES THEM.

Sorry. Wiggins is having bad day. Giles.