Ichiro has some wisdom to impart

Tough loss last night. Just goes to show that you need to be careful what you wish for as I know a lot of us were wishing that we could experience a game with opposing baserunners held in check, Mike Cameron showing some offense, a strong outing by David Wells, and a lucky break or two. And if that's what you were wishing for, then you got it, but you didn't experience a Padres win. I blame Ted Leitner.

I'm reading this article about Ichiro and I can't help but wonder if Ichiro were an American ballplayer, how he would've turned out. Ain't no self-respecting American baseball coach would let a skinny kid get away with showing up the big boys with his pansy swing. The first time a kid tries to slap at a ball and bail out of the box, you know that's getting "corrected". And with that in mind, who am I to tell Ichiro that his opinions make no sense?

Tiger Woods' athleticism: "Tiger is a great golfer, but ... when you say athlete, I think of Carl Lewis. When you talk about (golfers or race-car drivers), I don't want to see them run. It's the same if you were to meet a beautiful girl and go bowling. If she's an ugly bowler, you are going to be disappointed."
Lest you think me cad, I am familiar with the concepts of Zen and my only explanation for that opinion regarding beautiful women who bowl is that Ichiro is trying to unlock our minds. If a beautiful woman tries to drive a race car with a bowling ball on a golf course, does it make a sound? Once you answer that age old question, you too can be a terrific slap hitter.

One more...
Being an entertainer: "I want to be the kind of player who people feel it is worth paying the money to come out and watch. ... When I meet players who are playing just to win, that angers me."
Dream Sequence... Ichiro Suzuki has joined the Padres... They've just experienced a tough loss... Brian Giles is walking into the dugout sadly with Ichiro close behind...

"Brian Giles! Why does the sadness of a thousand featherless cranes overcome you?"

"What? Oh you know, Ichiro. I wanted to win."

"Is winning all that matters Brian Giles? Or is what really matters the bowling abilities of a beautiful woman?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Ichiro."

"Come, Brian Giles! What is truly saddening you is that you have failed to entertain tonight. That can be corrected! When throwing feces ceases to be entertaining for the monkey in the fig tree, that same monkey will dance to make the clouds laugh."

"Are you saying I should get naked and wave my peen at Tim Sullivan again?"

[wise nod] "I need not say it Brian Giles, for the mountains have said it for you."
Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Gaslamp Ball

You must be a member of Gaslamp Ball to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Gaslamp Ball. You should read them.

Join Gaslamp Ball

You must be a member of Gaslamp Ball to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Gaslamp Ball. You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.