I think we should all take it upon ourselves to get proper use out of the Padres new slogan: Experience It!
The wonderful thing with the new slogan is that we're taking something that's normally used as a noun and we're actionizing it! From now on, I'm not just going to go to the game. Rather, I'm going to experience it. I mean, the ballgame itself isn't just a game, it's an experience and therefore I have to make sure I'm actively experiencing the game.
"Dex, can you take the trash out?"
"Not right now, sweetie. I'm experiencing this game."
"What does that mean? Are you masturbating to baseball now?"
"Shhhhhh... No, honey. I'm experiencing this game. The Padres want me to be an active experiencer."
"Don't SHUSH me!"
And so on and so on...
Also, for whatever reason, I can't say the words "Padres 2007. Experience it!" without doing jazz hands. Try it yourself. You'll see. Shout it out when you're in the shower. PADRES 2007! EXPERIENCE IT! I guarantee that you'll drop the soap and do jazz hands. I guarantee it.
Let's make it a Gaslamp Ball goal this season that none of us ever do the sacrilege that is just "watching" or "attending" a baseball game. Instead, from now on, you must experience it. In fact. We're making a game out of it.
Experience It! The Game!
The rules are easy. Any time you hear a friend refer to doing anything in relation to experiencing a Padres baseball game without actually using the word "experience", the first person to notice is allowed to distribute the Penalty. The Penalty will be as follows:
- The offender receives a single punch to the shoulder or thigh from the penalty distributer.
- Immediately after the punch, the distributor must say the words "Experience it!" This can be said as loudly or as quietly as appropriate. The exact wording can be adjusted as long as some form of the word "experience" is used.
- (Optional rule for more fun) Any further penalty can be incurred as agreed upon beforehand.
"You want to watch the game tonight?"
"No, but I'd like to experience it! HI-YAAA!"
Also, let's say that in order to activate the game, you have to ask the person if they're experienced. It'll be our little secret activation. If you're experiencing the game with a person you've never experienced it with before, just ask, "Are you experienced?" And if they look at you quizzically, then introduce your new friend to our world.
Now let's get out there and be experiencers! Go Padres! Experience it!