I may be forced to do this, but let's pretend like I wanted to do it instead.

by Dex on Mar 2, 2007 5:00 AM PST in News

Hi Adrian. It's good to see you. You're looking good these days, and to be honest, you looked fantastic last season. With all that being said, I'd like to talk about giving you a little bit of a raise.

Now, last season you made $327,000. That's a good amount of money, but the boys and I have talked it over and we think you deserve more. Don't thank me yet! I'm going to write a number down on this piece of paper and I'm going to slide it over. Now, when you look at it, don't get all mushy. You know I'm not a hugger.

That's right. You're speechless. You can't believe it. That's three-hundred and ninety-one thousand dollars. Congratulations.

What are you talking about? Of course it's a raise. That's $64k more than what you made last season! New league minimum? Don't think about the new league minimum. Just look at the numbers. Seriously. Double-yew tee eff is up with this ungrateful attitude? I may be forced to do this, but let's pretend like I wanted to do it instead.

OK, fine. You want to be weird about this? How about this for a deal? How bout I give you this precious league minimum you keep talking about and whatever's in my wallet? How's that for a raise? How you like them apples? No. It's too late. You get the league minimum plus whatever I got in my wallet.

Ah f_ck. I forgot I went to the ATM this morning. I take it back. If I give you this then I'll have to hit the ATM twice this month and those fees are a bitch... OK, fine. Never mind. Just take it. I'm sick of talking about it. You've tainted this whole process. This was supposed to be a happy day. Hey! If you're going to say thanks, then don't roll your eyes while you say it. Yeah. I saw that.

Oh and Adrian. Keep on sluggin', player! No, you da man!

Gonzalez gets one year renewal [Padres.com]

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I don't get it either...

$500? Come on, the guy was the team MVP last season! At each game this year, we should pass around a bucket and collect money for him just like they do for players at Lake Elsinore.

Yesterday, when I first read this story I got a little upset. The guy's a class act and the Padres wouldn't even have been in the running for the NL West title last season if it wasn't for his talent. I don't see why the team would have a problem parting with $418,000 for one of their best position players.

Is this how we treat our young talent? Maybe I shouldn't get too upset, they did trade Barfield. Now I have to put up with non-stop coverage of the Giles brothers.

(BTW, good post Dex)

"I rub pine tar on my toothbrush handle."

by Greene Finger on Mar 2, 2007 11:56 AM PST reply actions

great post

hilarious Dex. I'm sure Adrian is really saying the old double-ewe tee eff. Hopefully, yes hopefully, they'll give him a 4yr/$8m contract before they break camp. That would put off his free agency by two more years at a nice low salary for his projected production, while making him a millionaire at this early stage in his career (i.e. showing him respect, giving him the love, whatever the latest players slang term for this is)

Relax, all right? Don't try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic.

by TheRevRun on Mar 2, 2007 12:50 PM PST reply actions

Adrian's not hurting

...I'm certain he got a fairly huge signing bonus being the number one pick in the draft a few years back. I think front office is still recovering from some retarted arbiter giving Todd Walker $3.95 million a year.

by FUBYU on Mar 2, 2007 3:51 PM PST reply actions

Adrian...

You're right FUBYU, Adrian recieved a $3 million dollar signing bonus when he was the first pick in the 2000 Draft. It is also completely irrevelant concerning his contract negotiations with a different team, seven years later.

And one more thing, Adrian shouldn't have to be punished because the front office completely blew the Todd Walker arbitration hearing.

"People who write about spring training not being necessary have never tried to throw a baseball." ~ Sandy Koufax

by Drama on Mar 3, 2007 1:03 PM PST up reply actions

Plus

Ryan Howard is making $900k this year, and he was the MVP last year.

by FUBYU on Mar 2, 2007 3:52 PM PST reply actions

Sorry FUBYU, bad comparison...

The Phillies could have offered Ryan Howard the league minimum of $380,000, but instead chose to recognize what an incredible contribution he made to their ballclub last season and gave him a generous raise until they can come to terms on a long-term deal.
Adrian isn't asking to make what the MVP made last year...he's asking for what he thinks is fair.

"People who write about spring training not being necessary have never tried to throw a baseball." ~ Sandy Koufax

by Drama on Mar 3, 2007 12:55 PM PST up reply actions

Ryan's Money

I was watching something last week, I think Real Sports on HBO. Ryan Howard gives all his money to his parents. Then they give him an allowance. More players should do this.

by Jonny Dub on Mar 3, 2007 2:12 PM PST up reply actions