Mark Prior's shoulder must seriously be f_cked up

by Dex on Dec 24, 2007 1:59 PM PST in News

I was just reading this on Christmas Eve:

ESPN's stable of baseball reporters linked 14 teams to the pursuit of Mark Prior, but that list drops when teams check out his medical reports. Texas was the latest to back out. San Diego makes the most sense, but the Padres ended trade talks with the Cubs after looking at the medical file.

What could possibly be going on in that medical report that we don't know?

PATIENT NAME: PRIOR, MARK
MEDICAL RECORD#: 24601
DATE OF ADMISSION: 4/3/2007
ATTENDING PHYSICIAN: Max Morgan, M.D.
DIAGNOSIS: Patient originally thought shoulder was messed up. In actuality, a Brown Recluse Spider crawled into his shoulder and made a nest, which basically f_cked this guy's sh_t up all to hell.

I've seen those brown recluse spider bites (not safe for lunch) and I can tell you that if Prior indeed had one lay eggs in his shoulder, then that dude's useless to us. Better to go after Matt "Psycho" Clement.

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We should go get Josh Towers instead

by JollyWaffle on Dec 24, 2007 4:30 PM PST reply actions

Brown Recluse

Having been the victim of a brown recluse spider bite myself, I can honestly say that if Prior has indeed been bitten by one of these, we should have nothing to do with him. I haven't been able to throw hard since. I got bit in the leg and I was never able to throw hard before I got bit, but still.

by Winfield's Ghost on Dec 24, 2007 4:41 PM PST reply actions

Family of spiders

I thought a family of spiders moved into my forehead...turns out it was just a zit.

Take a shot on him, low base salary, a bunch of incentives, if worse comes to worse we can have him spread the "spiders of death" throughout the NL west...instant pennant.

Seems like Caly Hensley has been pushed waaaayyyy on to the back burner. I would love to see him get another shot at the rotation.

by Northcountycopper on Dec 25, 2007 3:48 PM PST reply actions