Jayson Werth has sensitive fans

Hi there. If you're reading this, you either read Gaslamp Ball semi-regularly, or you're a friend of Jayson Werth's. If you're a friend of Jayson's, chances are, you're a little bit gay for him. I say that, not knowing any of Jayson's friends personally, but just from the fact that the only thing that ever gets comments on our defunct Padres Fans Since '76 site is this post written in March of 2005.

Who are you people, and why do you feel it necessary to manually massage Jayson Werth's prostate every chance you get? Seriously who are you people?

Look at this (bold added by me. typos are his):

I love you guys. You sound like you have maybe less baseball IQ than my sister, wait my sister has actually watched baseball played at a professional level. I bet that the author of this comical trash has never played the game at a higher level than, well maybe junior high. I only say that because it sounds like maybe his dad said at some point that the Padres were good. If you are a payinng fan then you have the right to heckel. I respect that, but you do not have the right to write a uneducated response that not only underminds themselves, but makes anyone who has enough bal.... and mean lack of balls to spout off about someone that you in your wildest dreams could only hope to be. And if you know so much about baseball why don't you come up with something better. I honnestly could vomit all over you. I am a Cubs fan. So don't think that I am a Dodger lover. I hate them. I just think if I were put in a situation that someone was tryinng to tell me how to do my job in a professional atmosphere; I would expect those people to understand what I had to go through to get here. I bet that you are not as successful in your profession.

I bet that you were the guy that was MVP at left bench.

HATER
YOUR LIFE MUST BE SO BORING THAT YOU HAVE TO CRITICIZE OTHER PEOPLE TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL ALIVE

Truely yours
Dustin Downs
P.S. I at least played college ball. HATER
Actually, I guess I only bolded the part about Dustin Downs being a Cubs fan, which honestly explains a lot (no offense, Al) Now, as you all know all too well by now, we'll goof on just about anyone on this site and we've written pretty hasty, angry things about all kinds of people. When we were fixing to interview Paul DePodesta, one of the first things he ever mentioned was how we meanly cracked on him. And we love Paul DePodesta. Granted, we were cracking on him for threatening to bring Jayson Werth to the Padres, but still. How do people get this defensive about Jayson Werth? In the original post, I think I even made reference to the fact that I overreacted a little bit and Dustin Downs rolls in and calls me a hater two years after the fact.

Dustin Downs, you and your ugly sister are now on my black list, right underneath Jayson Werth.
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