A hypothetical (don't read if you're superstitious)

I know I'm jumping the gun. I always do. I'll take the mockery if I'm wrong, fine. I have thick skin. But I just finished reading this, and I'm done with ESPN.

DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER if you are an idiot who believes in jinxes. Seriously.

I'm so through with hearing about The Great Mariano and the magic of Steinberger. He has purchased nearly every All-Star for the last 15 years, and that's gotten him 5 years of NO TITLES. And now RJ's back is aching. So screw you Yankees. Screw your Neo-Murderer's Row. Screw your checks and your TV-personlaity-cum-baseball-player crap. You'll end up the baseball equivalent of the Colts.

Bring it. I want a rematch. I can think of no better result than this, and I will pretty much pray to it like Cerrano prayed to Jobu:

Step 1: Destroy the Cardinals. Vengeance is delicious.

Step 2: Destroy the Dodgers (more vengeance is more deliciouser).

Step 3: Destroy the Yankees. Money can't buy you titles (all the time). *

That's what I want. I want to feel the life pulse slowly from the bloated, money-hungry corpse of the Yankee's evil empire. I want those storied franchises to fall like leaves in the chill San Diego autumn (ha ha ha! No, seriously, screw the rest of you cities, ha ha ha!). I want to hear tales of Brian Giles riding a charter jet to a Leno appearance bare-assed naked. I want Adrian Gonzales to hit a game winning line double off the Great Mariano, and watch the New Yorkers cry.
And more than anything else...I want to watch Trevor hoist that trophy, and all my underdog Pads to celebrate. Jake will have a whole offseason to heal, it's cool, wade in kid.

Side note:
Funny Onion Trevor story:

After the game, Hoffman wished his teammates good luck in the playoffs, and informed bystanders that he was "heading out to Cooperstown tonight if anyone wants to hear my speech."

*That is an almost verbatim repeat of a conversation me and a friend had today.

This FanPost was written by a member of the Gaslamp Ball community and does not necessarily reflect the views of the Gaslamp Ball managers or SB Nation.

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