Three step plan to poke Troy Johnson in the eyes. If you don't know Troy Johnson, he's the easily excitable host of Outta Left Field. That's the Padres show before the pregame show when the Padres are at home. Troy can be very hyper and a little loud and though you can't blame him for his enthusiasm, sometimes you just want to slap him. Or poke him in the eyes.
Step 1: Get on Outta Left Field
That's me in the balloon hat. Heavily disguised with my Bochy moustache so that Troy Johnson doesn't suspect anything. Look how I blend in with the surroundings. Step 1 went perfectly.
Step 2: Befriend Troy Johnson
This was a little trickier, but after the show, I walked over and chatted him up. I broke out some Gaslamp Charm and enchanted him with my wit and pizzaz. I was droll and pleasant, and within a minute, he was eating out of my hands.
Step 3: Poke Troy Johnson in the eyes!!!
He let his guard down and I took advantage. I was thinking of just slapping him, but then I thought, when else will I get to poke him in the eyes? So what I did. After jbox took the nice picture of us together, I casually asked, "You read the Padres blogs right?" And he said, "Sure."
I said, "What do you think about the comments wanting to have you poked in the eyes?" And he said, "Wait a second.... Dex? You're Dex from the blo...!?"
He wasn't so hyper after that.