Foul Ball Guy

Once upon a time there were two guys that loved catching foul balls.  They were in their late 30's or early 40's and they lived for catching foul balls.  They both brought their gloves to the Padres game and sat in the front row.  They would push, shove, elbow and yell in order to get their foul ball.  

Let me preface this story saying that I'm not really into collecting things.  I don't really care about foul balls or home run balls for that matter.  If a balls coming right at me I'll try and catch it, but I'm not going to fight for it or anything.  I got my first foul ball grounder last year in the same seats.  Just reached down and picked it up.  I gave it to my Grandma who is a big Padres fan but was too weak to go to the games.  

A foul grounder was hit directly at me last night.  It wasn't hit too hard.  I stood up reached over the wall and then I hear Foul Ball Guy coming.  "igotitigotitigotiIGOTITIGOTITIGOTIT!!!!"

First off dude, you can't be calling a foul ball.  That's not how it works.  Then he slams into the side of me jockeying for position.  I didn't move or give up.  Then he starts slapping my arm down repeatedly.  Then he tries to hold my arm down against the wall.  I continually free my arm.  All the while he is yelling "IGOTITIGOTIT!"  Well I grabbed the ball first and he grabbed a little bit more of it and wrenched it outta my hand.  He turned around victorious and high fived his friend.  

I was just disgusted and a bit upset with this guy.  He should be ashamed of himself.  I went after the ball like a gentleman, playing fair.  He went slapping, holding, yelling and being a baby.  He won.  He later gave me a little wave and said "Sorry, I didn't know it was you".  Apology not accepted.

As a reminder, it's not about the ball.  It is his behavior.  It's the fact that he and his buddy grabbed 3 foul balls that night.  I've seen him and his buddy literally grab a few balls a game.  After their 3rd ball, other guy said "Okay I've caught my quota, I'll let somebody else have one..."  Next foul ball, he and FBG jumped to their feet and ran to the adjacent section.  

But it wasn't just me.  Dex's wife's cousin Sara had a foul ball roll under her seat after it bounced a few times.  Other guy reached between HER legs and under HER seat and grabbed the ball, taking it from her.  Realizing that he was being an absolute ass, he handed it to her.  He asked "is that the first ball you've caught? Okay you can have it".  

Hey Jerk, she wasn't able to catch the ball or grab the ball, you grabbed the ball and took all the fun out of it by then giving it to her.  

Oh you may think that's the worst of it.  Well FBG and his buddy also need to catch all the foam balls thrown by the Pad Squad.  These foam balls are mostly meant for kids.  Pad Squad threw the balls to the kids and these guys stand over them and catch them with their gloves and hand them to the kids.   The kids are not impressed or even that happy to have a ball handed to them.

Hey Jerks!  You don't have to catch every single ball.  

I just imagine these guys at work bragging about how many foul balls they have grabbed.  It's probably what they are known for.  They have them all displayed at home or at work.  "Hey FBG did you get any tonight?"  

"Only 12 ahahahah!"

The only other thing that FBG enjoys as much as catching a foul ball is Oggi's pizza.  Every vendor that comes by he asks if they have Oggi's Pizza.  If they do, then he asks them to give him a two dollar discount (Dex told me that it worked once so he tries every time now).  The vendors hate him.  They continually explain that they would have to pay for it.  He ran from his seat last night to get the pizza and ran back, so he wouldn't miss a foul ball.  I conducted a short interview:

jbox:  Can I have a bite of that?
FBG:  (taps his buddy and points at me and laughs) This guy... this guy!
jbox:  If you had to choose between a foul ball and a slice of pizza?
FBG:  (Gets real serious) Foul ball.  (then he turns away)

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