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Around SBN: The Amateur Mathematics Of Linsanity

Open Thread: Game 1 Division Series or The Battle of Karma and Balls

Kinghippo_tiny by Dex on in News

Today's the big one. Ramon's in the clubhouse getting the nervous poop out. Khalil's oiling up his gears. Brian Giles is actively looking for somebody to teabag.

Everybody relax. Relax. All those numbers don't mean anything now. Now it all comes down to karma. Karma and balls. St. Louis may have all the numbers and statistics and damn lies on their side. Padres have karma, balls, and Big League Hair.

Starting lineups announced soon!

LET'S GET PUMPED!!!

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Nervous
And I've been punching myself in the jock all morning as my cat awkwardly looks on.

by mato on Oct 4, 2005 9:42 AM PDT reply actions  

I'm all jittery
Thank goodness I haven't had caffeine yet. I'd be bouncing off the walls.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 9:48 AM PDT up reply actions  

Chicken
Man I'm psyched....I got some Chicken BBQin' on the grill and a big gulp from 7-11 and it's only 10am.  I'm ready!

by Jonny Dub on Oct 4, 2005 9:43 AM PDT reply actions  

Padres lineup
Doc
Ryno
Lowrider
Gilly
Sweeney (does he have a nickname?)
Gasolina
Robot Vulcan
Joker
Alabama

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 9:43 AM PDT reply actions  

Cards lineup
Eckstein
Edmunds
Pujols
Walker
Sanders
Grudzielanik (did I get that right? I wrote from memory)
Nunez
Molina
Carp

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 9:46 AM PDT reply actions  

I've waited so Long
Man ESPN just did their Playoff intro "I've waited so long".  It was real dumb, but it get's me fired up.

by Jonny Dub on Oct 4, 2005 9:46 AM PDT reply actions  

channel
The game's on ESPN 2, The Dos, right?

by mato on Oct 4, 2005 9:49 AM PDT reply actions  

CH!
You need to Clean House.  Man, I should take care of that too.  It might calm me down.

by Jonny Dub on Oct 4, 2005 9:52 AM PDT up reply actions  

Doc Roberts
Coach thinks Doc may not even be at 90%.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 10:13 AM PDT reply actions  

Deadspin Liveblogging
Link to liveblog on Deadspin. Should be good stuff, though Will will be privately rooting for the Cards. That's OK. Will is dead to me.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 10:18 AM PDT reply actions  

Actually, what am I saying?
Deadspin's going to blatantly rooting for the Cards. Still, it should be good.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 10:21 AM PDT up reply actions  

I'm here dudes
and watching this game.  We get Miller and Morgan today.
Padres fan since '76

by kev on Oct 4, 2005 10:19 AM PDT reply actions  

No work today
or not until this game is over.  
Padres fan since '76

by kev on Oct 4, 2005 10:27 AM PDT reply actions  

One down
We only have 26 outs left to win this thing. Our backs are against the wall. SONUVA.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 10:27 AM PDT reply actions  

good eye Klesko
I swear that guy swings at every first pitch though.
Padres fan since '76

by kev on Oct 4, 2005 10:29 AM PDT reply actions  

Sweene-dog
According to the Red Alert Squad promo. they show at the games that's Sweeney's nickname.
I'm relying on you guys to keep the game updates coming.  I'm stuck here my lab (dungeon) with only my computer.

by Boo on Oct 4, 2005 10:32 AM PDT reply actions  

Giles up
Checking his hair. Checking his jock. And now he's winking at Klesko while checking his jock. JEEZ! Keep that off the field, Gilly!

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 10:34 AM PDT reply actions  

and now he strikes out
Was it a strike? Giles should've spent more time watching the ball as opposed to flirting with his teammates.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 10:35 AM PDT up reply actions  

going good
working the count, upping the pitch count.  things are OK so far....

except for that last K.

by mato on Oct 4, 2005 10:34 AM PDT reply actions  

shut up Morgan
he's such bad karma for us.
Padres fan since '76

by kev on Oct 4, 2005 10:39 AM PDT reply actions  

sit down Walker
freakin' Canadian
Padres fan since '76

by kev on Oct 4, 2005 10:41 AM PDT up reply actions  

Shoot
(trying to keep it clean)
Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 10:40 AM PDT up reply actions  

Fuck
Its the playoffs, I'm waaaaaay past keeping it clean.

by WestCoastPat on Oct 4, 2005 10:42 AM PDT up reply actions  

End of the first
1-0 Cardinals. Padres waking up slowly.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 10:41 AM PDT reply actions  

Steady now
Spot them one run and then nothing but Padres offense.

by teemcee on Oct 4, 2005 10:45 AM PDT up reply actions  

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!
Slow but determined.
Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 10:45 AM PDT reply actions  

Karma
is making the ump call things our way. He secretly wants the Padres to win.
Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 10:46 AM PDT up reply actions  

LaRussa's throwing the red challenge flag out
They're going to instant replay! Oh. Wrong sport.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 10:47 AM PDT up reply actions  

lucky
we get a break.  good sign.
Padres fan since '76

by kev on Oct 4, 2005 10:46 AM PDT reply actions  

BREAKS
We're getting some breaks now, boys and girls.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 10:47 AM PDT reply actions  

6-4-3
Hmmmm... They gave us a gift, and then took it away. Indian givers these people.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 10:51 AM PDT reply actions  

i remember you reggie
don't think i don't remember you!

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 10:52 AM PDT reply actions  

Doc
I think Dave Roberts may be OK. Unless that catch was within the 90%. They may try to still test that last 10%.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 10:55 AM PDT reply actions  

Whoa, is that right?
Peavy's thrown 19 pitches and only 2 have been balls?  I heart me some Jake Peavy.

by teemcee on Oct 4, 2005 10:59 AM PDT reply actions  

Now if he could hit for us
Jump start the offense. Jake for MVP at that point.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 11:00 AM PDT up reply actions  

Now will Doc steal?
Is 90% good enough to steal.
Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 11:02 AM PDT reply actions  

Roberts on
Let's start touching up Carp here.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 11:02 AM PDT reply actions  

2 Men On
1 Out.

Please dear Baseball Gods. We ask of ye, please giveth thine Padres some runneths.

Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 11:03 AM PDT reply actions  

WHYYYYY?!?
(shaking my fist)
Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 11:08 AM PDT up reply actions  

LO RE TA
LO RE TA! LO RE TA! LO RE TA!

Lets do this!

by fairweather on Oct 4, 2005 11:03 AM PDT reply actions  

Jake Karma
From Deadspin Live Blog

We were playing this exact game on MVP Baseball 2005 last night, and somehow Jake Peavy hit three home runs. (We actually won 4-3, if you can believe that.) If he does that today, we're never live-blogging again.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 11:05 AM PDT reply actions  

fudge
i'm getting an ulcer with all these RISPs gone bad.
Padres fan since '76

by kev on Oct 4, 2005 11:08 AM PDT reply actions  

NO!
no more double plays!

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 11:10 AM PDT reply actions  

Cheaters!
they say carpenter's only allowed one stollen base in 2 years!!!  Well, Pads need to use their speed.  So what does the groudcrew do?  They soak the hell out of this field.......Has anyone else noticed how muddy it is there?  And it is 90 degrees! Cheaters!

by Jonny Dub on Oct 4, 2005 11:12 AM PDT reply actions  

I thought Edmonds was hurt
he's killing us
Padres fan since '76

by kev on Oct 4, 2005 11:14 AM PDT reply actions  

We need some GIDP
for the Cards. Share the GIDP love with Walker.
Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 11:15 AM PDT reply actions  

just noticed wiggins4ever's diary
diary here.

Poor defense. Putting Pujols on.

We need us a GIDP.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 11:15 AM PDT reply actions  

Wild Pitch
Man, I'm not liking this.  This could be the season.

by Jonny Dub on Oct 4, 2005 11:17 AM PDT reply actions  

Easy now
Let's not throw the towel in yet.

by teemcee on Oct 4, 2005 11:19 AM PDT up reply actions  

now we're killing ourselves
someone check Peavy's shoes
Padres fan since '76

by kev on Oct 4, 2005 11:17 AM PDT reply actions  

Peavy
Man, this guy looks fuckin' pissed.

by Jonny Dub on Oct 4, 2005 11:18 AM PDT reply actions  

I just puked all over my computer
Looks like we'll have to settle this thing with the bats.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 11:21 AM PDT up reply actions  

Ulcer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i need some milk
Padres fan since '76

by kev on Oct 4, 2005 11:20 AM PDT reply actions  

It's Over
It's over.......I'm outs!

by Jonny Dub on Oct 4, 2005 11:20 AM PDT reply actions  

i could just see jon
throwing his chicken and beer after that inning
Padres fan since '76

by kev on Oct 4, 2005 11:22 AM PDT up reply actions  

Jerry on play by play now
Good. Ted can quit jinxing us now.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 11:24 AM PDT reply actions  

let's get through Carp quick
Quicker we get to the bullpen, quicker we can come back. Just keep putting together good ABs.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 11:26 AM PDT reply actions  

Well over 60 pitches now
Keep it up so we can see their bully sooner.
Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 11:27 AM PDT up reply actions  

Memo to Carp:
Your arm is heavy.  Very, very heavy.  So tired.

by teemcee on Oct 4, 2005 11:28 AM PDT up reply actions  

No more DP's!
You're killing yourselves!

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 11:29 AM PDT reply actions  

GIDP
If I don't ever again see the Padres ground into another double play, I honestly think I'd be OK with that.

Wait, I'm not sure... Actually, yes.

I don't ever want to see the Padres ground into a double play again.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 11:29 AM PDT reply actions  

If it makes you feel better
The Cardinals set a record this year for turning DPs......so if the Padres have a tendency to GIDP....this ain't the team to face.

by thenerdhater on Oct 4, 2005 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions  

(silence)
Must have faith.
Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 11:30 AM PDT reply actions  

i'm ill
i'm literally sick to my stomach listening on the gameday audio thing. i'm going to hurt myself at this rate.

and jerry coleman mentioned: lots of bad luck. some bad defense too...sweeney, klesko. if rhino has to play, put him at first. that's the only position he plays worth a damn.

by garth on Oct 4, 2005 11:31 AM PDT reply actions  

Pants is right
now we just relax and watch as the Padres prepare a comeback

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 11:32 AM PDT reply actions  

Comeback schmumback
Padres aren't gonna be able to score more than 4 runs dude.

You're better off sitting back and listing more ways to hate Joe Morgan.

by thenerdhater on Oct 4, 2005 11:34 AM PDT reply actions  

Peavy
The consensus in the office here is that Peavy either looks like Dale Earnhardt Jr. or a Vampire.

by thenerdhater on Oct 4, 2005 11:37 AM PDT reply actions  

Vampire?
What the hell? How so?

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 11:37 AM PDT reply actions  

Dude
He's got these glowing, evil looking eyes.  They're also dark around the edges.

Vampire dude...Vampire.  Lost Boysesque.

by thenerdhater on Oct 4, 2005 11:39 AM PDT up reply actions  

Or maybe like
Brad Pitt in that one movie.

by teemcee on Oct 4, 2005 11:39 AM PDT up reply actions  

It's simple
The Padres are going to have to become a team that they haven't been all season.

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 11:40 AM PDT reply actions  

How's this for an idea
Take peavy out now. Throw in b law. Hope for a come back. Pitch peavy tomorrow.

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 11:46 AM PDT reply actions  

Sounds grrrrrreat
I'm sure the redbirds would love another shot at him.

by thenerdhater on Oct 4, 2005 11:47 AM PDT up reply actions  

turn out the lights...
the party's over dudes.
Padres fan since '76

by kev on Oct 4, 2005 11:52 AM PDT reply actions  

get Peavy out!
Who wants some playing time?

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 11:52 AM PDT reply actions  

Start Pegging
They should start throwing at the Cards.  Hit like every batter you can.  Try and hurt them.  It's over, get that edge for tomorrow.

by Jonny Dub on Oct 4, 2005 11:53 AM PDT reply actions  

Good call Jdub
Play bush league baseball in Busch.

by thenerdhater on Oct 4, 2005 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions  

If it makes you feel better
This is the type of experience that will make Peavy stronger when he pitches in the post season again.

by thenerdhater on Oct 4, 2005 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions  

Ohm
Remaining calm.

Think of Hitchcock. Not the ace. Pitches well. Padres win.

(Deep breaths)

Now is the time for someone to slip Thor's Mighty Hammer in the Padres batting rack.

Or just Free X.

Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 12:00 PM PDT reply actions  

The series ain't over
Let's see the Pads make some adjustments and get into the cards bullpen.

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 12:05 PM PDT reply actions  

It's a Best of 5!
C'mon let's hear some chatter!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Go have some coffee! Get the caffeine pumpin'! Start puchin' jocks! Don't just your own either! See that dude over there? Punch his jock. Do it, Dex. Do it.

Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 12:06 PM PDT reply actions  

Or start punchin'
if you don't want to puch jocks. That'd be weird.

"Don't just your own either"

I gotta start proof-reading.

Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 12:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

ah B-Law
That's my guy! let's see some magic.

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 12:08 PM PDT reply actions  

Carp is gone!
We ran him outta town! Now attack that bullpen!

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 12:14 PM PDT reply actions  

Or he got injured
Yeah he's injured. He batted for himself.

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 12:15 PM PDT up reply actions  

Sweeeeeeeeen
RAH-LAY.

Let's see that Cardinals bullpen fold.

Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 12:17 PM PDT reply actions  

C'mon Kid Skillz
Unload!

3 Run Bomb.

You can do it.

Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 12:19 PM PDT reply actions  

What's going on?
Where's LT? You know Martz isn't going to take his foot off the gas. They'll keep throwing all day.

One touchdown from LT and we're right back in this thing.

by mike42 on Oct 4, 2005 12:25 PM PDT reply actions  

Barring a comeback
Before anyone goes off and gets disappointed, let me take you into the FishStripes time machine for a quick Marlins story:

The Marlins were shut out in the opening game of the 2003 NLDS at the hands of Barry Bonds, Jason Schmidt, and the other evil Giants.

After that though, the underdog Marlins came back and won three straight to take the series. I don't remember what happened after that, but as I recall, it didn't suck. Hopefully the Pads will do the same.

by mike42 on Oct 4, 2005 12:28 PM PDT reply actions  

Xavier Nady up to bat!
X gonna give it to ya! He replaced burroughs mid at bat? do I see this right?

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 12:29 PM PDT reply actions  

went and grabbed some lunch
and now I'm back and EY hits a homerun. I should've stuck around.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 12:39 PM PDT reply actions  

Double Switch?!?
Man, LaRussa is kooky.

6 run lead and he's not taking ANY chances.

Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 12:43 PM PDT reply actions  

bochy and larussa playing a game of chess now
Everybody burning through players. Trying to get that ideal matchup. Fick up. Let's hope he's sober by now.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 12:47 PM PDT reply actions  

Definitely.
jbox had a unicorn sighting.

by teemcee on Oct 4, 2005 12:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

OK
Whoever's left. We have one more inning. Settle in and focus. Focus.

Focus.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 1:05 PM PDT reply actions  

Focus
It's working!

The Vulcan gets a hit.

Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 1:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

double
ok... goood. keeep the focuss....

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 1:07 PM PDT reply actions  

Cal Eldred
I'm hoping Eldred can shut you down...then no more talk about how you won the season thanks to a crappy bullpen.

SD was smokin hot back then....STl was injured....different day, different story.

Fig and Geiser are at today's game...maybe they'll post a report.

by thenerdhater on Oct 4, 2005 1:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

larry walker robbing extra bases
That might be my bad. I was distracted by a spider crawling across my desk.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 1:10 PM PDT reply actions  

single
runners on first and third.

no sudden movements. keep the focus.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 1:12 PM PDT reply actions  

Shining
I am sending thoughts Scatman-style.

Focus.

Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 1:15 PM PDT reply actions  

there's another run
didn't like getting us down to our last out.

maybe we should focus just a tiny bit more for this last out.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 1:16 PM PDT reply actions  

Yes
Keep it alive.

Focus.

Shine.

Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 1:16 PM PDT reply actions  

base hit
good. good job with the focus, people.

just keep it up now.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 1:17 PM PDT reply actions  

and another run
good. focus. just gotta keep focus.

nobody get distracted.

focus.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 1:18 PM PDT reply actions  

another run
stay focused. keep the focus.

focus.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 1:20 PM PDT reply actions  

This is what happens...
When we get into their bullpen!

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 1:21 PM PDT reply actions  

wanna trade
Izzy for Hoffman?

I hate Izzy

by thenerdhater on Oct 4, 2005 1:22 PM PDT reply actions  

single
go ahead run at the plate.

focus. keep the focus, people.

i'm so proud of you.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 1:22 PM PDT reply actions  

Focus!
Ramon!  You have big league hair!

by jbox on Oct 4, 2005 1:23 PM PDT reply actions  

Dang.
At least they got scrappy in the end.
Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 1:23 PM PDT reply actions  

Oh well
Somebody must have gotten distracted there. It was a good attempt, Gaslamp Ballers. We just need to do that a little earlier if we fall behind Thursday.

by Dex on Oct 4, 2005 1:24 PM PDT reply actions  

Never Mind That
Forget falling behind. Focus to get a huge lead early.

Let's go, Pedro.

Go Padres!

by Pants on Oct 4, 2005 1:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

hell
at least they showed a little life. let's hope they don't get too down on themselves here...there was some serious bad luck in there too. don't get me wrong. St. Louis is GOOD. They whupped up on us today. But take away a couple ducksnorts and some liners right at guys and it's a different game.

all that said, scoreboard. I know. but they got a series here, not one game. they gotta get jacked up and go to battle next game.

by garth on Oct 4, 2005 1:59 PM PDT reply actions  

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