As part of our February Happiness Baseball Resolutions, I got permission from the esteemed Rob Neyer to republish one of his essays from his terrific book Rob Neyer's Big Book of Baseball Lineups : A Complete Guide to the Best, Worst, and Most Memorable Players to Ever Grace the Major Leagues. I think we all know that, as Padres Fans, we dislike the Dodgers, but this essay sums up so much more of why we dislike the Dodgers. Like it's part of our genetic makeup. You might think that focusing on the negative is contradictory to the Happiness Project, but one of the great things about rooting in sports is having rivals and regardless of how Dodger Fan may think of us, there are perfectly good reasons why they could be considered our most hated rival and the first perfectly good reason happened right from the get go. Don't let it make you unhappy. Instead, relish in the joy of having a rival knowing the roots of that rivalry. Enjoy!

-Dex

Ending Up With Enzo by Rob Neyer

Tommy Dean. Jose Arcia. Enzo Hernandez. Derrel Thomas. Bill Almon.

Those are the men who played shortstop for the San Diego Padres before Ozzie Smith arrived in 1978. Mostly it was Hernandez, who played regularly for the better part of six seasons. And to be brutally honest, Enzo Hernandez has to rank among the worst players ever to play regularly for so many seasons. He was a terrible hitter, even for a shortstop. In those six seasons, he batted .225 with a .285 OBP and .267 slugging percentage. He did run pretty well, but wasn't on base nearly often enough for his speed to make much of a difference. The real problem, though, was that Hernandez wasn't much on defense, either. He was adequate, at best, and adequate isn't actually adequate when you're a complete zero with the stick.

And the hell of it was, the Padres could have had somebody good.

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Well, it's now official, the Padres have signed Micah Owings to a one year $1 million Major League deal..

"Micah will compete for a spot on our staff," Padres general manager Josh Byrnes said in a release. "He is a proven contributor as a starter and as a reliever. Micah's character and versatility made him a priority for us as we looked to add depth to our pitching staff."

Owings looks to be a pretty good pick up for the Padres. I never liked him when he was with the Diamondbacks, but I think that was mostly because he was with the Diamondbacks. Now that he's a Padre I find him to be delightful. It's weird how that works.

It's comforting to know that the Padres have another pitcher that can start when the rotation is inevitably faced with injuries and can also throw out of the bullpen. As long as he makes the team out of Spring camp I foresee good things for his time in San Diego.

UPDATE:

Lots of jokes about Owings' hitting prowess.

I haven't found one internet opinion that hasn't liked this deal for the Padres, so for now the signing is 100% fresh, on par with the likes of Toy Story.

Apologies to RottenTomatoes.com

Padres add Micah Owings | Friar Forecast
While signing Owings exclusively as pitching depth is okay, his real value comes in his offensive game and overall versatility.

Pitcher-Slugger Micah Owings Signs With Padres - Rob Neyer - Baseball Nation
this seems like a great fit, as Owings is a fairly extreme fly-ball pitcher and his new home ballpark -- assuming he earns a spot on the squad -- is where fly balls go to die terrible deaths.

Micah Owings Deal Finalized With Padres - Chicken Friars
It’s a relatively low risk contract for both sides.

Owings Seeks Asylum In Petco | FanGraphs Baseball
The Padres didn’t get a bargain at a million bucks, but they did a good job recognizing that their ballpark’s tendencies will help cover for Owings’ faults. They could end up squeezing half-a-win out of this investment if things break right.

San Diego Padres Add Micah Owings to Major League Roster: Fan's Take - MLB - Yahoo! Sports
I think that the addition of Owings was a great move and one that can help the team in many different areas. If Owings is forced into the starting rotation, it would likely be due to injury or ineffectiveness of someone ahead of him. This wouldn't be good news for Padre fans but is a task Owings is certainly capable of handling.

Could the Padres signing of Micah Owings be a precursor to another deal? | Through The Fence Baseball
Either way, I like the signing of Owings. He can start, be the swing man out of the pen in long relief or even be an extra bat off the bench in late-inning games. Something the Padres in the NL West, and PETCO Park are accustom to.

Mighty Micah Steps Up to the Plate | RJ's Fro
This looks to be the last piece to the 2012 puzzle. We definitely needed another free agent starter to throw in the mix and why not kill two birds with one stone here. Owings is a prolific hitter (for pitchers' standards).

• PADRES: Owings to sign minor league contract
  Some people are saying it's a Major League Deal and some are saying it's a Minor League deal. The only thing we do know is that the trade is likely to happen since Owings is another ex-Arizona player. Kind of surprised he went 8-0 last year, that means he's still good right?

• 11,000 Future Friars " Padre Knows Best
  This community outreach program was genius and that's high praise that I usually reserve for my own ideas. Take a look at the crew unpacking 11,000 Little League Padres jerseys. Then think about what it would be like to make a nest out of all those jerseys and take a nap like a baby bird.

• NL Central suddenly has an identity crisis - ESPN
  Jayson Stark suggests that the Red Sox might consider Jason Bartlett as a SS alternative, but then back pedals and says they probably want someone who is less expensive. It's official Stark is a tease.

• Here's some video of Anthony Bass pitching on what looks like a tennis court using an "MVP Flatground Mound". I've never seen one of those before, but I should tell Jon. He was wanting to build a mound in his backyard. He should get one of these instead.
  
  

Ahhh February... This is it. The end of Baseball Winter. Non-fans often wonder how there can be so many months of baseball, but after a winter of licking your wounds and reloading for the future, by February, like an unbroken boxer coming out of our corner in the 10th round of a fight where we've already been knocked down four times, Padres fans are raring to go.

So it's the first of the month and the first month of our Baseball Fan Happiness Project. Our theme and goals for this month focus on grounding ourselves in the Padres rich history. With nothing really happening game-wise it's the perfect opportunity for us to get a firm understanding for what it means to be a Padres fan and a baseball fan in general.

Will getting some historical perspective make you happier? Considering the Padres history, maybe not. However, when the Padres win the World Series, you will be glad to have cultivated your knowledge and appreciation of the team. Also, it might help for Trivia Night.

You don't have to do everything that I suggest, though I'd encourage you to come up with alternative resolutions for the month. I also think that focusing on the theme will probably help by osmosis.

So onto the first month... Immersion into the past!

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I recently finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, which I would recommend to most. If you're not familiar with it, Gretchen decides that she's not as happy as she should or could be and undertakes a series of resolutions throughout a year in an attempt to do things to make herself happy, or maybe more accurately, help her appreciate life more. Everything's based on philosophers and writers and popular opinions on happiness.

I generally think of myself as a happy person, but when I think about the blog, I can't help but think that we, as a Gaslamp Ball, aren't necessarily "happy" all the time.

Not that there's typically a lot of stuff to be happy about if you're a Padres fan, so any happiness we derive from last place seasons is bonus. Personally, I know we're going to be outspent on the field by larger markets. There's no shaking the idea that we typically will have players leading up to the best years of their career or potentially finishing out the tail end of a great career, as opposed to that sweet spot in the middle. Some of our local media seems to relish in the unattainable "fact" that our millionaire owner and his ownership group should field the most expensive team possible for no reason other than out of the goodness of their hearts. There's a weird perception that there are billionaires that are out there that are lining up to buy the Padres, or would want to buy the Padres if only they heard our stories about why we deserve a team and pretty things. Like Mark Cuban is Daddy Warbucks and we're a bunch of ginger orphans.

On the other hand, let's say you're a fan of the Yankees. You have a rich tradition to draw from. Even non-baseball fans can probably name 5 to 10 Yankees past and present without batting an eye. So your team is part of popular culture. You can rest easy in the knowledge that you will be competing for a post season spot and even in an off-year, you're fairly confident that you're watching a team that's made up mostly of All-Stars, former All-Stars, future All-Stars with a touch of Hall of Famers scattered in. Money for players is spent like a spectacle.

The Padres are a quiet independent film while the Yankees/Red Sox/Dodgers/Giants are spectacle summer blockbusters. When they're big time, they're amazingly big time and enjoyed by lots of people. When they flop, they flop in amazingly spectacular fashion and people laugh. Quiet independent films win little awards here and there (best farm system, best front office, best grounds crew). When they win the big awards, it becomes a big deal, but most people go back to watching the blockbusters next year.

So what's this all leading to? I've decided to undergo a Gaslamp Ball version of a Happiness Project this season!

Every month, there will be a series of resolutions and activities that I'm going to focus on (and that you can focus on as well). All of this is geared towards making us more appreciative Padres fans, but also better baseball fans in general. Sorting out the schedule, but on the calendar for this year:

• Be more statistically inclined
• Root passionately for no logical reason
• Empathize with other fans
• Look forward to the future
• Appreciate the present
• Reflect on the past
• Do things in the name of fanhood that make no sense

We'll square away the details as we go, but February is coming up and is just as good a time as any to start. Let's get pumped, people! It's almost February! Pitchers and Catchers reporting any second now!

Former Padres closer Heath Bell shot a commercial for the company that did his home renovation. Presumably there was a deal in place that gave Bell a discount if he created a commercial upon its completion. There must have been something in the contract about tweeting construction updates as well, because Bell has been tweeting about it for months, always making sure to not so casually drop the name of the company.

The commercial script is at one moment cringe worthy and the next charming. For instance, I like when he pops up from behind a wall made of Tuscan stones or says "It's my garage, it's awesome." Then I groan when he says "It's an amazing outdoor kitchen, OH YEAH!" or speaks nonsensical statements like "...and I've wanted what I got."

In any case, Bell describes the finished product as the backyard of his dreams, which is nice, but I always imagined Heath Bell's dreams being a little goofier and having more personality. I was totally expecting his backyard would be a mixture of a Chuck E. Cheese and a McDonald's play land.

Like Bell himself, his backyard looks like it's trying to be a little more fun than it actually is. They're both classy in spots and just tacky enough in others that nobody will want to buy them in 2 years.

I like the pool, the patio, the grills and the fire pit, but I'm not a fan of the fake boulders and mini-campfires that just seem to be thrown in place randomly like some weird Paleolithic amusement park.

Still, even with my mild criticism and the fact that Bell will never be a Padre again, I'd be willing to participate in any future pool parties as long as bathing suits are optional.